Different (Chris Brown Story)

02

Just let the past, just be the past.  

Alexis Marjorie Smith

- December 31st, 2008 

New Years Eve

   Jay's House

The mood was set for others. I sat in the corner, the music making my head vibrate and pound. I wanted to go home, read a book and "borrow" wine from my mom's stash in the cellar. No doubt this party would end the senior year off right and would hold us off until May. But here I was, being the debby downer because he was here. He was watching me, taunting me, secretly cheating on me and making me feel smaller than I already did.

'Why me?" I could barely hear my thoughts as Sissy Nobby's 'Beat it out the frame' played. Oh how bad I wanted to go out there and show what I had been practicing. Crazy thing is, I took twerking classes and other years I've gotten better. But he was watching me... So even if I wanted to dance, I'd have to do it in the dark. and even then, he'd see me and I'd be his spotlight. I wanted that but..

"Girl go dance!" My sister slurred. She had on a kinky dress, I guess to show that she wasn't just volley ball and tennis fitted. We're from England, well I am, but I still feel like Atlanta adopted us. Coming to America was the best decision but the worst mistake my parents made. Because when I came here, he was here... 

"I'm fine!" I yelled over the music, "better not let Jay see you like this.."

"Speaking of him, he still has me in the friend zone." 

"Don't even worry about it," I whispered-yelled in her ear before returning into my seat for the night. I looked up and he was there.. He motioned me over and instantly my feet moved making him smirk.

"Wanna go upstairs with me?" he asked and I nodded.

"I just want to talk," I stood on my tip-toes and whispered in his ear. His smirk never left his face.

"Don't worry baby, we'll do just that and more.." 

- Present Day

August 15th, 2014

I sat up in bed with tears in my eyes. I wish I never thought about him. Everytime I see him on TV in a magazine, anywhere, that same dream comes and goes -- more detailed. I hated him for what he did and I hated my self for letting it happen. I hated myself for all the things after which is why I pushed them away and made my attitude the way it is.

Other life experiences made it worst. I got up out of bed ringing the buzzer, "Yes Ma'am?" my maid rang threw the speaker. "Two waffles, and a fat free French Vanilla cappuccino and make it quick," I ordered before letting go of it and walking to my closet. I wasn't going into work today because I know I'd have to face either Kylie or Alea and neither would make my attitude any better today.

I had took a nice bubble bath, had my personal spa night and chilled in my sauna for god knows how long. So, today was going to be a lovely and wonderful day despite the dream I had.

My outfit was pretty simple since the weather was a little bit chillier as Autumn was well on it's way. I planned on going shopping and looking for a house. I was 24 years old living with my mom. She's always in my business and I need to spread my wings and fly. I just need to not be reminded by my past..

"Your foods downstairs waiting," Ms. Rose said through the speaker. I simply ignore her while I get myself ready. I was done in the next hour or so before going downstairs. My mom and dad were sitting at the table. They look heated.. I kept quiet sitting at the table digging into my food.