Sandcastle ; Jaywon

Fourth

Jungwon couldn't close his eyes. Two in the morning, and sleep just wouldn't come to him. He thought of everything he was dealing with those days. The difficulty on getting the new choreography, no matter how many more hours he spent practicing in the studio when the day was over. The difficulty on keeping up with the school stuff, after dedicating so much time from the last days to his job. 

The fact that he was so tired he couldn't even record the videos of him practicing his grandma loved so much. God, his mind was really full. And at the end of every single thought, there was a pair of foxy eyes smiling at him. The image of Jay doing anything during the day, be it telling a bad joke, or just focusing on the maths exercise, kept surrounding him. 

The older one's voice complimenting his lips was playing in repeat. And Jungwon was really worried about that.

If he already let Jay take so much over his mind to the point he couldn't sleep, that was worrying. If he couldn't stop thinking about his eyes, or lips, or hair, he would have to do something about it.

And that was what he was thinking when he got up from bed straight to the kitchen: to do something about it. If he didn't take this matter into his own hands, it would get out of control.

He was thinking about it when he grabbed a glass of water. If he let his feelings for Jay take so much over his thoughts, he might end up messing his own routine. He wouldn't be able to sleep at night, and would be tired during the day. Then, he would mess up on school, get terrible grades and repeat the year. Then, he would mess up his practice because of studying, and wouldn't be able to keep up with Enhypen's routine. And when that happened, he wouldn't be allowed to be the leader anymore, and be expelled from the company and…

-Jungwon? Are you okay?

He didn't see it when Jay entered the kitchen. His hair was a little bit messy and voice a little raspy. Jungwon almost let the glass slip from his hands when he heard it.

-I heard you sneaking out of bed so… -He continued, even before Jungwon could answer anything.- Are you okay? You've been standing there for some time, and your hands are shaking.

The steps he took towards the younger were followed by his hands taking the cup out of the other's hold. Jungwon felt his mind slow down, when the boy that was the biggest reason for his worries was so close to him again.

-I'm… I'm fine, just tired -his eyes followed Jay's hands as he put the glass on the table, as if that were more interesting than looking him in the eye.- Sorry hyung, did I wake you up?

-No, I wasn't sleeping either -Jay, on the other hand, wouldn't take his eyes off the younger. His lips pursing with anxiety, his eyes looking away and surrounded by faint black circles. Jungwon didn't look like himself.- Is there something you're not telling me?

Jungwon met his eyes for the first time since the conversation started. He wanted to share his worries, but he couldn't when the boy in front of him was one of them. 

Jay noticed the way his lips paralyzed, eyes admitting "yes" behind his strands of hair.

-I knew it -Jay smiled, that same gentle one Jungwon kind of always wanted to be the reason of.- You've been acting strange lately.

Jungwon frowned.

-Me? When?

-Well, -Jay leaned on the counter, standing by his side.- When I tried to hug you yesterday, you avoided me thrice. Also, today we didn't talk much… And when we were studying the other day, you pushed me away too.

Jungwon was surprised. Truth is, he didn't expect Jay to notice those things, because not even he was aware of it. It felt as if his body was taking actions by itself in order to avoid the older.