Sandcastle ; Jaywon

Sixth

Days passed ever since their last conversation. Jungwon was avoiding Jay the most, sticking to the other member's company when the taller tried to approach him, or avoiding the topic Jay wanted to bring up even when they were alone.

Actually, it was not like he was avoiding Jay. He was avoiding talking about that night.

He was avoiding to remember the awful step he took towards the older, kissing him when he didn't even expect. Avoiding to remember how stupid of an approach it was for someone who was trying to confess their feelings.

He let his head fall on the table, regretting everything. His head hurted even more because of the boy's reaction. It would be a lie to say there wasn't this little sparkle of hope in his heart that told him "but what if…" every time he tried to convince himself Jay didn't feel anything for him. But it was like a cold water shower when, the other night, he saw how confused Jay's eyes were. And worse, how worried he seemed about hurting his feelings.

He hated making other people worried, so maybe that's another reason why he was avoiding Jay so much. But honestly, with the amount of stuff that was going on in his mind right now, his dark circles wouldn't even allow him to focus on one worry in specific. 

He was thinking of that on the way back home, when school was over and they had a day off for resting. Jungwon thought he could take that as a chance to do everything his routine was preventing him from, and clear his mind a little bit.

Walking around the city was always pleasing, especially when you had spent so many hours locked in the practice room, or on the classes in school. It felt like a breath of fresh air when he stepped out of the dorm, ready to go buy some banana milk in the closest store.

The sweet drink was just an excuse for him to walk around, something idols weren't allowed to do that much alone. But with a mask and a hoodie on, given how freezy the breeze felt on that day, it would be hard for anyone to recognize him as someone famous. 

But before he could give a second step, he heard someone call him from behind.

-Where are you going, Won? -Jay ran to him, almost already expecting the other to go out..- Can I go with you?

Jungwon froze for a moment, taking a step back. He muttered something about not, but Jay was already grabbing a beanie and his keys. 

-I was just going to buy banana milk, actually. Do you want some? I can bring it for you.

-No -Jay took a step closer, smiling at him before putting a mask on.- I'm more than happy to make you company.

He then held the door so Jungwon could pass first, and it was at that moment desperation took over the younger. That small action of Jay locking the door meant that, for the next 30 minutes or more, he'd be stuck with the boy whom he kissed, even though his feelings weren't reciprocal. He could feel his legs wanting to give up banana milk and just run back to the dorm.

But before he could do that, Jay was already one step ahead, hoping for him to accompany. And so he did, as much as his heart was beating uncomfortably heavy in his chest.

They walked through beautiful decorated streets with the presence of winter, but Jungwon couldn't be comfortable even with a nice scenario. Jay was not exactly talking to him, walking some steps ahead. Even though they both were going to the same place, Jungwon felt lost.

-Why are you so far? -Jay stopped and turned to him, hands in his pocket.- You might get kidnapped by some random person, I don't want that.

As much as Jungwon wanted to laugh and give that same sarcastic smile he always did to Jay's jokes, this time he couldn't. And Jay noticed it, the way Jungwon couldn't stare at him at all and let his head down all the time.