The Shift - Chan

First life - 3

The night carried on and at first I avoided Chris' gaze. Yet, I came to the conclusion that it would make me more suspicious and the idea was that we'd never know. Most of the group were either setting up their tents or decorating the inside to make it comfortable for the evening. Instead of joining in the fun, I sat by the fire, on my own.

A faint laughter grew loud and came in my direction. Jason and Max were joking around together and both spotted me. I gave a kind of half smile - one that you'd give a stranger in the street if they smiled at you.
"I'll catch up with you" I just about heard Jason say. Oh... did that mean he was gonna come over and speak to me?
Speak of the devil, the boy decided to come and sit near me. This would probably be the first time we've spoken just the two of us privately. Usually, if I went to a competition to support the boys, we'd have an exchange of words but there was always people around. This was different.

"You not cold sat here on your lonesome?" He asked.
I gave him a reassuring look, trying to keep my breathing and heart rate steady.
"It's kinda peaceful"
"I guess I'll just-"
He gestured like he was going to leave.
"No no, you're welcome to stay"
Even more so in this light, Jason's handsome features were showcased for the world to see. He would often have girls cheering and swooning after him at the competitions, so I would avoid being cheesy around him to be something different, something less full on. Maybe that's why he was speaking to me now.

"With the truth or dare earlier I-" he started and I was unsure of where this was going, "if I was Chris, I would've kissed you"
Just that one sentence and my mind erupted. Does that mean he thinks I'm the prettiest person here? There aren't many people here though so it's not a big competition anyway. But does he think I'm pretty?
Though, the one I ended up saying was, "what makes you think he didn't pick me?"
At that, Jason itched the back of his neck. He probably wasn't expecting an answer like that. Neither was I until it suddenly came to mind.
"You're best friends and all and I know you're close but... I'm pretty sure Chris knows that I like you"
WHAT?

Christopher, we would be having some talks after this. All of this time I had been on about Jason and how much I liked him and my own best friend, who may or may not have known, didn't tell me. I know we keep secrets but not from each other!
I could feel my face heating up, "ur- he- ur- he didn't say anything to me about that"
With more confidence, the boy took my hands in his. I prayed that my palms didn't decide to become sweaty at this exact moment.
"Well I do, I like you Y/N. I know that we don't know too much about each other, but I'm happy to learn more if you are."
He was asking me if he liked me, the boy of my dreams and...
I peaked out the corner of my eye at the figure lurking in the background.
Chris.

My heart may have raced at the thought of Jason liking me but it raced equally as quick when Chris kissed me on the cheek. It was certainly a thought I never expected to have. So I couldn't start a relationship with Jason. Not for now at least. It just... didn't feel right: not with Chris watching, not with everything going on in my heart. I just had to watch things unfold for now, for better or worse.
"I'd like to get to know each other better too, is it ok to take it slow? I don't know, just start out as friends and see where it goes?"
It wasn't what he wanted to hear I know, it's not what I wanted to say, but it felt right.
Poor Jason looked heartbroken just from his eyes I was worried he would cry.
So I added, "I do like you too Jason, I just want to take it steady as we get to know each other. Then we can see from there, ok?"
He smiled more hopefully in return and it was a deal.

As he wandered off to re-join Max, a looming Chris took his place.
"So what happened then?"
My best friend was so excited, his second hand happiness was sweet but it wasn't... maybe it was just too much. Don't overthink everything, huh Y/N?
"He told me he liked me"
"That's great!"
"Which apparently you knew about"
Silence...
"Chris?"
"I had an inclining but I wasn't sure ok? That's why I didn't tell you."
"Oh, Alright"
"But you said yes right so it doesn't matter"
The second I told him what I said, his face changed to something I couldn't define. It was getting harder and harder for me to tell his emotions, when it used to be as easy as reading a book.

"But you both like each other!"
"It's not that easy Chris, Jason and I aren't best friends, we don't get each other yet like we do"
Silence once more.
I made a poor choice of words.
Lucky for me, the way the fire was lighting us was dark enough so Chris couldn't see my blushing.
I'm not stupid, I can see that my best friend is attractive. It just never occurred to me to think of him in that way, I guess. We were always so close that I didn't think of just how close we were or what boyfriend material he is. I used to be the one supporting him after his triumphs and mishaps. Now.. I didn't know what I wanted. He shouldn't have kissed me. If he didn't kiss me, then I probably wouldn't have had these mixed feelings in the first place. Maybe the only reason I think like this is because of the kiss. What if I don't like him but the thought of him is appealing?

"I'm gonna... go to bed. You should too it's getting late."
When I muttered those words, I knew it was only 10. It was still a reasonable time for people to be up and doing things. However, after all the confusion I've had today, I think a decent sleep might just help me clear my head. Then, when I wake, I can think fresh in the morning. I can really consider my true feelings.
As I was shuffling away, Chris stopped me and pulled me in for a hug.
"Goodnight stupid" he whispered to me.
It made me smile, "night kangaroo"
Chris, why do you make my heart beat like this..?