𝚂𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚛 | 𝚔. 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚊

- Blue -

Nekoma scores.

-

I barely have time to blink as the whistle blows, signifying the end of the game. My gaze wanders over the players, mentally taking note of their condition. My shoulders slump as I watch them drown under defeat. The ache shadows their side of the court, suffocating and cold. I shiver.

Nicole tugs my sleeve. "Let's go." I slide my hands from the railing, feeling blood rush back to my fingertips.

We traverse down the stairs, shuffling into the gymnasium. Karasuno huddles together, circled around Coach Ukai, deep in conversation and thought. I rub the back of my head, scanning their faces. Disappointment lingers in their expressions, their hopes dashed to the floor. Traces of intensity remain in some; however, one or two have hopelessness in their eyes. I release a sigh, averting my gaze.

"This was just a practice game," Ukai comments, "and while I understand your frustrations, we can use this as a learning experience." I train my gaze on the coach, absorbing his words.

"He has a good point, you know." Nicole breathes, shuffling closer to me. "But they look so devastated."

I nod. "I mean, Nekoma was their rival for the longest time."

"They think they're not good enough because they lost?" Nicole watches the team with a pitied expression.

"Something like that." I affirm, crossing my arms over my chest. They don't think they can live up to what they're expected to evolve into. "We just need time."

"More time to grow and stuff, right?"

"Yeah."

The team parts, changing their shirts, collecting waters, and taking down equipment. I shuffle over to Sugawara, raising a stiff arm to catch his attention. He gives a half-hearted wave and returns to storing away water bottles. I move to stand beside him and slide my hands onto my hips, assuming an assertive stance.

"How's my favorite bench warmer?" I goad, barely sheathing a grin.

I don't miss the eyeroll Sugawara shoots in my direction. "I feel like shit."

My tone softens. "What's wrong?"

"I wish my tosses could've played a part in the game." He releases a sigh, standing on unsteady feet. I know what he aches to testify next. Maybe we could've won.

"You did great supporting the team, they couldn't have done it without your cheers and uplifting words." I pat him on the back, searching for an ounce of hope in his eyes.

"Maybe." Sugawara's hazel gaze is drained, devoid of emotion. I frown.

"I hate to be the one to say this, but," I start, following Suga across the gym to the locker room, "it was just a practice game. You'll have more chances."

Sugawara shoves his things into his locker. I expect him to slam the cabinet shut, but he slides it gently closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The fire has left him, leaving behind an exhausted shell. "I know."

"You need a hug." I spread my arms, making a 'come here' motion with my hands.

He grumbles something under his breath but stumbles over regardless, sliding begrudgingly into my arms. He's sweaty and smells of rotting wood, but I don't care, stuffing my head into his shoulders.

"I love you," he mutters, his breath hitching. I wonder if he's going to cry.

A deep voice breaks out behind us. "Am I interrupting something?" His tone is laced with smugness. I'm sure Suga won't hear the end of it, but neither of us care right now.

I pry myself from Sugawara's arms, our fingers intertwining for a heartbeat before breaking away. "No, you're not." I rub my arm, gazing at the blonde boy with weary eyes.

Tsukki strides by, bumping into my shoulder. "If you say so."

Sugawara's fingers wind around my waist, tugging me closer to him. "Wait, we're-" He shoots me a look and I quiet, closing my mouth over surprised words.

As Tsukkishima passes by again, I rest a free hand on Sugawara's chest, the racing beat of his heart spread underneath my fingertips. Tsukki glances at us, once, faltering, faint distaste spread over his features. He recovers and doesn't spare us a second glance, exiting the locker room.

The tension of the room dispels. "The first years are intense, aren't they?"

"Agreed." A shiver drips down my spine as I recuperate, sucking in an extended breath. "We should probably go."

We exit the locker room, crossing the gym. I offer my goodbyes to acquaintances from both Nekoma and Karasuno. We receive various levels of goodbyes, from rushed dismissals to emotional tradeoffs.

Sugawara embraces Daichi in a hug, their cheeks flushed red when they part. Kenma offers us a shy wave before returning to his Nintendo switch. I give Kuroo and Inuoka congratulatory handshakes, shooting each of them a nod.

"Good game."

We leave the gymnasium, waving goodbye at both teammates and rivals. Most of the first years didn't bother changing out of their practice uniforms. I assume they still want to play, venting their frustrations and rebuilding hopes that were dashed after the game. Either way, Sugawara and I weren't going to be around to find out.

I hop in the car, grabbing the seatbelt. Sugawara starts the ignition; however, he doesn't shift into drive. I glance over at him, my hands faltering on the strap. His expression is cloudy, his eyes shiny.

Something inside me breaks. I open my mouth, fumbling for words. I uncover shattered glass. Before I have the chance to utter broken words, he switches gears, revving out from the parking lot. Sugawara blinks and the smoke clears, all traces of conflict removed. I opt against commenting, clearing the glass away. The haphazard question lurks in the back of my mind. I release a sigh and gaze out the window, brows furrowed and hands clammy. It's probably just the game. I reassure myself, forcing my eyes shut.

Suga drives home in silence. The journey isn't long but I still nod off, slipping away to a world of muted greys and hazel.