A Full Chaldea (Fate/Grand Order)

The Count of Tsunderes: 'Edge'mond Dantès

Master once asked me to explain what I am. And so, I did.
"Unknown to love, unknown to compassion, established as the black flame of grudge that blazes itself dazzlingly only by means of hatred and revenge; nothing but an Avenger who rages until he turns everything to ashes."
But there was more I didn't mention.
I feel no love, no compassion, nothing but hate. But...I do love.
Mercédès...my truest love, whom I miss so dearly...
Faria...my benefactor, father figure, mentor, and friend...
Haydée...the girl I saved, and loved with what little heart I had left...
...and now Master.
He's strong and almost unbreakable in his mindset, in his conviction to help everyone around him.
...he's kind. I like that.

...I have always been a bit annoyed with my True Name being what it is. It's...inaccurate.
...I am not Edmond Dantès, the seaman from Marseille. I am the Count of Monte Cristo, the King of the Cavern, a hollow shell of a man with nothing to hold close to his heart but hatred, a seething castle of nothing but hatred.
...I am not Edmond Dantès, the downtrodden man thrown into hell on earth for crimes he didn't commit. I am not him. Not anymore.
...I am not Edmond Dantès, the man who lost that which he held dear and was shattered and thrown to the side like so much glass. No...I am not him.
I am not him. I am not him. Not him. Not him. Not him.
...I am the King of the Cavern, the heartless monster of revenge.
...I am...
...I...

Dantès clenches his gloved fists. It takes a good deal of his self-control to not burn his diary. Instead, he replaces the padlock and hides it in the secret drawer that he uses for nothing else. He keeps the key in a different drawer, hidden from unwanted, prying light.
Knock knock
Silence.
"Count?" Ritsuka calls. Dantès stays silent.
"Count!" Ritsuka calls again. Dantès stays silent.
"Count, are you even in here?" Ritsuka mutters, worried. Dantès stays silent.
...why is he...no. He's worried because I'm one of his Servants.
"...I just wanted to check on you..." Ritsuka murmurs. Dantès can barely hear it, but he sure as hell can tell that he's really upset. His eye twitches. As Ritsuka turns to walk away, Dantès opens the door, fast enough that Ritsuka doesn't see him. Ritsuka smiles. He walks in, where Dantès is just sitting on his bed, eyes closed.
"Count?"
Dantès walks over and shuts the door. He's still silent.
Is...something wrong with Edmond? Is he...okay?
"...Count?"
"...what are you here for, Master," Dantès half-asks. Ritsuka fidgets with his Chaldea uniform.
"...are you—"
"For your purposes, yes," Dantès answers without a second thought, already knowing what his Master is going to ask.
Is he an idiot? I'm never okay!
"What do you mean 'for your purposes'?"
Dantès hesitates.
"For all you need to know, the answer to your question is 'yes'."
...huh?
"You're not making sense."
Silence. Dantès sighs. His mind is kinda all over the place.
I'm happy that he's here...I mean, he's as close to a 'friend' as I have...NO. QUIET. JUST BE QUIET.
"Are—"
"Yes," Dantès answers immediately, his red eyes dull and dead.
"Ar—"
"Yes."
"Can you pl—"
"No. If you don't need something, Master, please leave."
Ritsuka looks around.
"Please don't go...I'm really lonely..." Dantès whispers when he thinks Ritsuka isn't looking at him. He's so quiet that he barely speaks at all, although he immediately has to suppress the urge to slap himself. He catches Ritsuka half-staring at him, and grits his teeth a bit.
Why am I even lonely? Is it loneliness? I'm a demon of vengeance...can I even feel lonely? Tsk...it doesn't matter anyway. I don't want or need anyone's sympathy.
Looking a bit embarrassed and defeated, and shrinking a tad under Dantès's intense crimson gaze, Ritsuka manages a quick 'goodbye' and leaves. Dantès scoffs quietly.
I don't need his kindness. I am the King of the Cavern, an incarnation of revenge.
I am not Edmond Dantès, the weak man who let everyone step all over him. I am not him. I am not...I am not...I...am...
Dantès shakes his head violently, nearly tossing his hat off.
Silence. Just...silence. I am the King of the Cavern. This whole situation is ridiculous. I don't need his pity. I am not...I am not...I...
I...
Dantès facepalms and decides to take a walk, in his Spirit Form, so no one bothers him. He transitions and walks through his door, thinking.