Straight [Nomin]

2

"Jaemin...Minnie please come out," Donghyuck called softly through Jaemin's bedroom door. His tone the complete opposite of this morning.

"No," Jaemin shook his head. "I just wanna be alone."

"Nana you can't let yourself wallow over something you can't control," Donghyuck slid down Jaemin's door. "I'm sorry for always pushing a reason out of you by the way."

"It's ok channie...you couldn't have known," Jaemin's voice leaked hurt.

Jeno asked Yeeun out on a date.

He was probably going to kiss Yeeun.

She would probably kiss him back.

And then they would date.

Then Jaemin would be left alone.

"Jaem...do you wanna go out tonight?" Donghyuck started slowly. "You don't have to but maybe seeing some other guys might do you good."

"I don't think so," Jaemin replied with a heavy heart. "I don't know if I can do anything hyuck."

"That's alright," Donghyuck nodded his head even though Jaemin couldn't see him. "You don't have to. But I'll do your makeup if you change your mind."

Jaemin heard Donghyuck walk away and he felt alone again.

Jaemin clutched the blankets tightly. His heart is broken but it was his own fault. He should have broken it sooner by telling Jeno he was gay. So then it would've healed by now.

He remembers he tried to once but he didnt have the guts to do it.

Flashback

Today was the day.

Jaemin decided.

He was going to tell Jeno he liked boys. He prayed for the best but he didnt know how well it was going to go.

They've been best friends since they were 4.

Jeno was the best best friend that anyone could ask for and he didn't judge much.

But Jaemin was still scared.

"Hey Nana, sorry I'm late," Jeno walked into the restaurant and sat across from Jaemin.

Jaemin waved him off and smiled nervously.

"Hey you ok-" Jeno started to ask but was cut off when the waitress came to take their orders.

She had brown hair and big blue eyes with a bright smile on her face.

Jaemin saw Jeno oogling her out of the corner of his eye.

"H-hi can I g-get a chicken salad...p-please?" Jaemin stuttered out because he was nervous. He watched Jeno smile and the waitresses cheeks turn pink.

"C-coming right up," She said back to them before disappearing to the kitchen.

"What?" Jaemin asked when Jeno was still staring at him.

"Nice Na," Jeno looked smug as he spoke. "I was gonna ask for her number but ill let you take her. It's been a while since I've seen you interested in a girl....actually I've never seen you interested in a girl."

Jeno put on a confused frown at the realization before shaking his head. "Im just glad you're ready to get laid Nana."

Jaemin choked on his own spit. "W-what Jen im not-"

He was cut off when their food arrived, the waitress not looking at them as she put their food down and walked away.

He saw Jeno's eyes follow her, his eyes lower than they should've been.

His heart hammered in his chest when he realized Jeno was looking at her ass.

"So Jaem, what did you need to tell me?" Jeno smiled with a head tilt before taking a bite of the burger he ordered.

"I uhm..." Jaemin swallowed, he felt the tension come on full force in his throat and head.

"Jaem?" Jeno asked in concern as he saw Jaemin start to shake a little bit. It wouldn't be noticeable to others but he knew everything about Jaemin.

Or so he thought.

"I-i don't li-" Jaemin cut himself off, his eyes running all over the things around him but refused to look at Jeno.

"Hey," Jeno's voice was soft when he reached over to hold Jaemin's hand. "Look at me Nana."

Jaemin felt a shiver run through him but his eyes caught Jeno's concerned ones.

"You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to," Jeno rubbed his thumb over Jaemin's knuckles. "Tell me when you're ready."

Jaemin let out a breath or relief and nodded his head.

He still felt shakey.

He never did work up the courage to tell Jeno that day.

When the waitress came around to give them the check, her number was written inside.

Jeno caught Jaemin throw it in the garbage on their way out.

"Why'd you do that?" Jeno asked with furrowed brows.

"...wasn't interested," An technically he didnt lie.

"Ahh you don't need to get a girl yet anyway," Jeno pulled Jaemin into a light choke hold and brushed his knuckles against Jaemin's head with gentle pressure.

Jeno was always gentle with Jaemin.

Flashback over

Jaemin pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes to keep any liquid at bay.

Jaemin didn't want to go out tonight.

But he knows that he will sit here all night thinking about Jeno and Yeeun if he doesn't.

Jaemin wanted Jeno.

But just because you want something doesn't me you can have it.

And just because you have it doesn't mean you deserve it.

Jaemin doesn't deserve Jeno.

Not like how all the pretty girls Jeno likes deserve Jeno.

Jaemin would never deserve Jeno.

Jaemin slowly got out of his bed to find Donghyuck.

The older boy was putting on lip gloss in the mirror and signing softly to a song on his phone.

He popped his lips and turned when he finally saw Jaemin.

"Make me pretty," Jaemin said in the doorway, not a trace of happiness on him.

Donghyuck smiled to try and comfort before pulling Jaemin to sit on the lid of the toilet seat.

"I'll help you pick and outfit too."