Illicit Affair 《 KTH, JJK 》✓

Page Eight: heart of doubt

"No. I love you a lot." Unexpectedly a soft whisper came out from Jungkook's lips and you didn't know what got into you next. Maybe because you were drunk or maybe because you were broken-hearted, or lonely or insane? You weren't even bother to looking for more excuses before you slam your lips to his.

You were kissing Jungkook.

There were hesitant gestures from Jungkook before he confidently yet softly pushes you away. God knows how it took all of him to push you away.

"Don't kiss me, if you don't mean it." He whispered coldly and there are tint of sadness visible in his doe eyes.

"K-Kook- I-I'm sorry-I just, thought-"

"You're right. I'm in love with you from the very first time my eyes landed on you." He started and your gaze was finally look up to meet his. You couldn't believe what you just heard. It's true that you have a feeling about it from time to time but you never really think about it since your heart was with someone else. Also, you didn't want to ruin the friendship either. But guess the time it's finally here.

You lowkey regretted for chugged down those drinks that makes you lose your mind, but doesn't people said drunk people are tend to being honest with their words and actions?

"But I know my place, noona. You love hyung from the very first sight too just like me to you. That's why I never said a thing, I knew where I stand. So please, don't kiss me. Don't show up at my house all caught up in your feelings like this. Don't run me round and round, don't build me up just let me down. You only text me when it feels right to you and then you said you need me, you messed with my head. When all I know is, you're still looking at me with a heart of doubt."

The room fell into silent once again while you were trying to keep your sanity to say something to break the silence. "K-Kook, I'm sorry. I really didn't know-"

"Stop saying sorry! I hate sorry! You only make me feels pathetic and don't lie to me! I was being so obvious for having feelings to you, I know you knew it. You just pretend to be blind about it. You know you got me in the palm of your hand but you only let me hold you when he can't. I don't understand. Why can't you love me instead?"

Saying his sentence leave you breathless was an understatement. You were having hard time to think. Even though you lowkey aware about his feelings but having him confessed to you like this and throwing that last question without warning were makes you go crazy. Your lips were parting but there's no sound coming from it. You were staring at him but there's no words exchange. Your heart was beating fast but your brain was moving slow. You were tired but also scared, and worried.

What should you do?
What should you say?
Is there any guide to help you through this?
If you said yes, do you even deserve him? Do you even love him?
If you said no, does he deserve a rejection? Does it wrong to move on?

"I can't tell what you're thinking." He broke the holy silence but still, his intense gaze was glued on you. "Please tell me what you're thinking. That looks makes me impatient." you broke the eye-gaze battle and glued your eyes on the ground instead.

"I-I have to go home now, it's getting late." you tried to stood up but your stupid legs giving up on you and makes you fell back on the couch. Is it because of your drunk state or is it because of your drunk mind and heart? You don't know.

"Stay." His one word makes you turn to him, widening your eyes. "It's so late and you think I would let you go home alone like this? Also, after everything I said, you still wanted to leave? Nah, not on my watch, noona." His intense cold glare faded away replace by his warm and playful grin. "Go clean up, you can wear my hoodies and stay overnight. I'll drive you back home tomorrow. Also, no-no. Jeon's gate is closed by now and only open again tomorrow by 7 in the morning." He immediately places his palm in front of your face to stopped you when you were about to say something to refuse his offer. "Now go, or should I help you?" He flashed you a mischievous grin which makes you sober almost instantly.

"I-I'm good on my own!!" you jog to his room, hiding your flustered face. "Cute."

Currently you were laying on Jungkook's bed while he does the same thing on the couch in the living room, being a gentleman, he said. After making you wearing his hoodie, he gives you a cup of warm tea and told you to rest. Now, the last sentence from him before he left the room was echoing in your mind.

'Just tell me if you changed your mind.'

While your eyes were staring at a message on your phone screen.

'I'm sorry. I will explain everything. Where are you? At least let me know that you got home safely, Lee.'

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A/N: early update because why not! 😗 drop what you think about this part? And you can refer to my profile for my update schedule<3