I've always sat beside her. Admiring her from afar as I began to realize just how much you captivated my heart. You had always left me with such a thundering strike in my heart. And yet, I could never approach you. I was always too afraid of how you'd feel about me... Or if you even noticed me at all.
I questioned if I'd ever be good enough to warrant your attention. I grew melancholic, and spiraled down into the abyss of my own emotions; contemplating what I could do just to have you look my way. Just to have you look next to you.
From your short purple hair, to your love of music, there was always a plethora of things to adore about you. Your views of heroism, and the way you laughed... It made me weak in the knees. And yet despite all of that admiration, I could never bring myself to confront you of my feelings.
I tried to better myself, and bring the best out, just to prove to you that I was someone worth noticing. Sometimes I could even feel your eyes on me, even if for but a moment. I did all that I could to assist you if needed, and the times you did approach me yourself made me the gleeful I could have ever been.
It happened to come to a point where I lost nights of sleep thinking of you. Imagining what it would be like to be with you; to hold you. Alas, in my own mind, in my own reality, I would never get the opportunity. I was the modern model of a hero, and yet I was still too much of a coward to tell you how I had felt for years.
Soon the time would come where we would separate and I would only see you performing at your concerts, or excelling as a hero. It sent pain throughout my chest. I had admired you for years, and we were always so close... I was always next to you, but the time where I could stand beside ended and I felt like I lost a piece of myself. I lost you.
The years would continue on like that, with such a painful distance between us. I would often reminisce about the times where I was so close to you, where I was so close to holding your attention on myself. It hurt to know you could've possibly been with another.
The bad parts of heroism shone brighter than the sun. Headlines detailing a relationship with one of our former classmates. It brought me to tears. It even began to affect my work and the public could notice; you could notice.
Constantly they would ask if I was okay, and while I smiled and nodded, the truth was that I was never okay. Not when I wasn't next to you. Perhaps if I had the confidence things would have gone differently and I would've been with you. I would have had my dreams come to fruition. But reality is a cold and harsh mistress.
And then the day came where you would approach me yourself. You had come to visit me on one of my few days off, surprising me entirely when you arrived as I had looked a complete mess. You asked me, "What was wrong?" And in some strange surge of boldness, I told you.
"Why him?" I said, "Why him and not me?" And you looked at me perplexed, confused on what I meant entirely. I showed you the headlines and the look of disgust on your face made me feel ashamed; ashamed that I had just spilled my guts out to you and you were revolted. I wanted nothing more but to hide in that single moment.
"I could never." You said, "He is nothing more than a fool, and so is the press. The one I love is more heroic than that man could ever be." You would say, bringing light to my clouded mind. As I looked to you you gave me that smile that I loved to see. The one I had missed for years, and you told me the words I had longed to hear.
"The one I love is you. I've always wanted to stand Next To You."
I suddenly felt like a fool. I was always so absorbed in my thoughts of self-doubt that I never noticed, but her eyes were on me as mine were on her. And these years of dancing around the idea of us ever being together were fruitless. My worries held no backbone.
And then I asked you to be mine, and we spent the night captivated by one another. We implored our bodies to connect, and in the passionate gaze of the moonlight we sealed what could be known as our love for one another. I was elated. It felt as if my mind was soaring through the clouds and I poured every ounce of my love into that night.
And when morning came, and we arose from our slumber you turned to me with that smile once more, kissing me ever so gently as the sunrise shed a beautiful light over your face, and said. "I love you, Izuku."
And those words that I had longed to hear for years had brought a smile unto my face. I clutched your small form closer to mine and whispered into your sensitive ears, as your jacks dangled idly.
"I love you too, Kyouka. I'll always be here, right next to you."
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Next To You - IzuJirou Oneshot
FanfictionJust a short little oneshot idea I had. It's a first person recounting of Izuku's admiration for Kyouka.