After Orders

After the shipwreck

The cold wind bit through Rex's armor like the knife of the droid surgeon on his head, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. A wicked headache was pounding against his skull, but he didn't mention it--or anything--to Ahsoka.

She looked so very small, standing there with her shoulders bowed beneath her cloak and her hood up, protecting her from the wind. The helmets of his brothers rattled against the slim staffs they had placed them on, sounding like an eerie bone melody.

Rex blew on his hands to warm them, but it did little. Ahsoka wasn't moving. They needed to leave--but how was he to tell her that?

He didn't need to. She turned, giving him a heavy look. He nodded. She knew they had to leave. She was wise, this young jedi.

If only they had been able to save more.

His brothers--his friends, his soldiers. The ones he had trained and been trained with, the ones he had loved.

He had shot them.

Ahsoka's small hand pressed against his, adding a little warmth to his freezing body. "Rex?"

"Yes. Sorry, Commander."

She smiled a little and began to walk, keeping her fingers in his.

🟆

They camped out in the shadow of a large stone mountain, the blizzard howling outside their tiny, freezing cavern. Ahsoka sat near the fire Rex had managed to make with what little he had grabbed from the wreck--a broken transponder, a medical kit, and the energy coil of a droid. The energy coil had served as the fuel for the fire, but it wouldn't be good for long.

Rex watched Ahsoka as she stared at the burning energy coil, seemingly unaware of the storm or the wicked scent given out by the burning coil. She shivered once.

Rex leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and bending over the coil to try and keep at least part of himself warm. "Commander? Are you alright?" She was staring so blankly--so silently. It wasn't like her.

But then again, it had been a long time since he had been with her. She was grown now.

She hardly seemed to hear him, staring at the coil for another full minute before blinking and looking at him. "Oh. What?"

"Are you alright?"

She gave a bitter chuckle. "Of course. You?"

"I wasn't... speaking about wounds, Ahsoka."

She closed her eyes. "I'm fine."

Rex sighed, closing his own eyes to try and ease the headache pounding against his skull. He was... afraid. That much could be said. He kept seeing Fives, shaking and screaming and... Fives had had his own chip taken out, and that had ended so badly.

Rex didn't want to end up like Fives.

And he had to be strong for Ahsoka. She needed him, now more than ever. More than any war or any battle or any injury or loss of one of their friends. More than when she had needed him the most--when the jedi had turned their back on her and even the clones, her friends and his brothers, had been sent to capture her.

He'd failed her then.

He wouldn't now.

He pressed his fingers against his temples, trying to ease the pounding headache and push the doubt away. He'd be alright. He had to be.

"Rex?" Ahsoka's voice carried a little uncertainty. He opened his eyes, sitting up quickly.

"What?" There was nothing in the door of their little cavern--nothing around Ahsoka. There didn't seem to be danger. But she was stiff, sitting as straight up as a board, eyes wide and face pale.

"They're all dead. They're all dying." Her voice trembled. "I can... I can hear them. Oh... oh." She broke off in a half-sob. Rex rose, skirting the energy coil to crouch next to her. He reached out to touch her, but brought his hand back. Her eyes were closed again, her entire slim body trembling. "Everyone... Anakin... he's... he's in such great pain."

She broke, bending over on herself and shaking. Rex dropped to his knees, grabbing her shoulder. "Ahsoka! Ahsoka!" He didn't know what to say but her name. He wasn't a jedi, or anything close--just a simple clone. He didn't know what was happening to her. "Ahsoka! It's... it's alright." He tried to force her to sit up, but she remained bent in on herself, arms grasping her own shoulders and shaking. "Ahsoka, please. It's okay. He's..."

Anakin.

Obi-Wan.

Fives.

Cody.

Everyone.

"I'm sorry, Ahsoka."

I'm sorry, Fives.

If I had only listened...

He was right.

All along, he was right.

Ahsoka broke from her position, half-rising to lean against him, face pressed against his shoulder and body shaking. He put his arms around her tentatively.

Only half a minute passed before Ahsoka abruptly stopped crying, pulling out of his embrace and back to her cross-legged position. "There's more."

"What?" Rex frowned. She was pale, as though the cold was getting to her.

"There has to be more. Jedi, and clones. We can still help them."

"Ahsoka-"

"No. There must be more." She looked at him, so childish and trustingly that he could only nod.

"Yeah. I'm sure there are."

"We can find them." She grabbed his hand again, gripping it tightly. "We can still save them. Together."

He tightened his fingers around her small palm, nodding.

Yes, together.