Loving Adam

Chapter 14

Laura and I spent almost the entire Friday at the gym, making sure everything is ready for prom tomorrow. The decorations have been put up, the band is rehearsed, and the catering people are on schedule.

At around 5 pm, people begin to leave to watch the football game.

"Aren't you going too?" Laura asks, "Adam asked you to come watch him, right?"

I shake my head, "Mrs. Chen asks me to do another speech at City Hall."

She looks surprised, "So you're not going? Did you tell Adam?"

I scoff, "Why should I? I don't think it'll matter to him."

"Oh babe," her eyes soften as she sighs with concern, "I hate that this is happening to you."

"No worries," I smile, "In two weeks time, I would be far, far away from this problem called Adam Marx."

She smiles, "That's true. Well, I might drop by the game later to see Martin. Do you want me to say something to Adam just in case he asks?"

I shake my head, "I really don't think that's needed."

She smiles and gives me a hug, "Alright then, see you tomorrow at the prom?"

I nod, "See you tomorrow at the prom."

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The event at the City Hall turns out to be much more serious than what I imagined. Other than our Mayor, there were three other Mayors from neighboring towns, along with the rich communities of Magnolia.

I become to feel nervous, clutching the piece of paper where I scribbled my speech earlier. I curse myself from writing it at the last minute, and choosing such soft topic. I should have chosen topics like terrorism or child trafficking, giving it a little bit of depth.

While the Mayor delivers his opening speech, I open the paper and think about something I might be able to add. But then my cellphone vibrates. 

I made a mistake by glancing at it. It's a text from Laura. 

From: Laura
Babe. Look!

She sent me a picture. I lift my phone to see it clearly. It's a picture of the side bench in the football field. There is a paper sticked to it. I zoomed in to read what's written on the paper.

RESERVED FOR MY "MORE THAN A FRIEND" - A. Marx

Oh.

I can't help not to smile. Oh! I'm such an idiot. I should have come to the game. He did invite me specifically, and I did promise him on the plane I'd come watch. And look at what he wrote! He must be expecting me! 

Maybe he's serious this time. Maybe he really likes you.

I glance at the watch. It's 7:34 pm. If I finish my speech fast, I still can get to the field and catch the rest of the Adam's game. From that bench. My bench.

That will make a good surprise for him. Maybe the moment he sees you, he will run across the field and kiss you, in front of the whole school. Like in movies. 

I smile so wide. Excited. 

Again, I feel like my heart is lifted, like a little pink balloon.

My phone vibrates again. Laura sends another picture. 

From: Laura
Ok. Nevermind. Sorry.

I looked at the picture.

Regina is sitting at the bench. My bench. And Adam is leaning his body across the field separator, kissing her lips.

In front of the whole school.

"Miss Hart, are you ready?" someone taps my shoulder, snaps me back to reality.

I turn my head and see a woman smiling, "The Mayor just called your name."

"O-ok,"'I stand up immediately. 

I hear applause as I walk toward the stage. I nod at the Mayor. The audience stops clapping and the room becomes quiet, waiting for me to speak.

That wasn't your bench. That was Regina's. 

"Um-" I try to open my mouth but my mind draws a blank.

You're more than a friend, Hart, I hear Adam's voice in my head, I want to be with you, but I can't. At the end of the day, I tell myself that I will always be this horrible man who cannot change who he is, and I shouldn't drag you into it with me.

The woman is looking at me anxiously. I need to start speaking, the audience is waiting.

You promised me on that plane that you will watch my game, I hear Adam's voice again, the final game this Friday. My front row seat only for you.

My front row seat only for you.

I feel that everyone is looking at my bandage. Maybe because they are.

"Imma uh," I gulp before opening my mouth again, "I'm so sorry. I was going to come here and give a speech on youth revolution, but I realized that all of you asked me to be here because of that time in New York, when I spoke of something we all could relate to. I spoke of love."

I take a deep breath before continuing.

"My speech that time was entitled Love is Easy, which, thanks to YouTube, has been interpreted by people around the world to different kind of love. From the love for family, to the love across religions. At first I was stunned, and then I realize, wait a minute, I think I have made a mistake in that speech. What was I thinking? Love is not easy at all! Look at the amount of innocent lives who were lost to gun violence, the number of parents filing for a divorce, and not to forget, the daily occurrences of broken hearts that a boy could give to a girl, or vice versa!"

You're more than a friend, Hart. I want to be with you, but I can't.

"But then I begin to ponder again," I quickly continue to kill Adam's voice in my head, "Perhaps love isn't so easy because we're the ones who make it difficult in the first place. I think, if you really love someone, you wouldn't even think about hurting them. I think, if you really love someone, you wouldn't keep changing your mind from time to time, because you just want to be with that person all the time. Which is why, I decided tonight, I want to apologize for making people believe that love is easy. It isn't. Sometimes, love can hurt, sometimes, it makes you cry, or in my case, leaving you with a bandage around your forehead for weeks."

The audience smiles.

I smile and continue. "But it shouldn't be like that. If it's love, I shouldn't find myself wrapped around in a bandage. If it's love, I should feel it constantly, not feeling happy one day and sad the next day. It shouldn't be like that, and we should be able to tell ourselves, 'Hey, this isn't the love I deserve, so it isn't worth it.' So I guess this is where it becomes easy; the part where you finally see that you have loved the wrong person, and you should give it to someone else who truly deserves them. Or you can give it to yourself, because there's no harm in giving yourself some more loving. Because only then you can see how love ain't so bad. Tomorrow is always going to be a new day and there are always new, bigger things that await you, and if you're lucky, you will find a person that's worth loving. That person who does not hurt you, or make you cry, or let you feel pain. You will know that person loves you because he actually does. And before you know it, that's when love gets much, much easier. Thank you."

I smile, and the audience claps.

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