Meant to be

Ch 19 Contd....

Shehnaaz literally had no idea what hit her!

All she knew was they went to bed happy, woke up happy. She for a brief moment went to break ice with Paras simply because she was guilty about using him for the game. One thing led to another and the next thing she knew Sidharth had once again built the artic around him. He had become inaccessible to her and she had to now start all over again placating and pacifying him! Most of the time she did not even know why he was behaving the way he did. She could not quite put a finger on it but ever since the secret room, Sidharth felt more intimate yet more aloof. When he spent time with her he was all about the stroking and the cuddling and the nibbling and it drove her entirely crazy but when they were with people he was more connected with Paras and Mahira and now she noticed shefali Z was also honing in. She hated this! She hated having to over think. And as much as Sidharth urged her to play the game she did not want to. She definitely wanted to win but entirely on basis of her performance on tasks and the audience votes she did not want to be playing mind games and using people as strategy, it really did not sit well with who she was. Sidharth on the other hand wanted to leave no chance to rule the game the way he looked at it everyone here knew what they were getting involved in, no one was here against their own will, so if people were here it was all fair game he would never break his personal
Integrity or ethics but he outside this house would never be organic friends with Paras or Mahira or Shefali z. For him they were less destructive when under his belt and he hovered over them constantly so that their strengths could be used to fight the opponents and with hom being around they targeted Shehnaaz less.
He knew everything he noticed everything but he had learnt the fine art of weighing everything and reacting only when it was necessary.

They had a brief conversation in the morning where out of his sheer frustration lashed out saying that she does not affect him anymore , he hated how she belittled herself and foolishly placed herself right bang in the middle of the Paras Mahira drama. On their own their bond as such did not have a leverage but only because of the drama she invoked made sure the attention stayed on them. As they finished their tea and walked out of the glass room. Shehnaaz desperately hoped that this was one of the instances Sidharth was saying out of spite and was not serious about what he meant.

Shehnaaz got ready in the morning desperate to snuggle against Sidharth who was yet to get ready. Before she headed out for her shower he was still in bed and she hoped that he hadn't gotten out yet. She wanted some time alone with him and when he was with the unsavory trio she found it difficult to be herself with them and he too was so guarded that she hated it. She went to the bedroom area only to find Arti snuggling into her space next to Sidharth and what was worse she was asking Sidharth if he liked the way she had tied her hair into a high ponytail! The feeling of sadness that was earlier washing over her now gave way to full blown irritation. If it was not the trio it was Arti! She really could not comprehend what was happening, why was it so difficult to get him alone and from where she stood he seemed to be completely ok with it. She turned around in a huff but not before Sidharth noticed that she seemed to turn around in a huff. He sighed, the past few days was a huge strain on them and he was trying to rein his frustrations in. He could not let her fully know what she meant for him, nor could he drop the ball on the game. He had stayed behind in bed hoping for a few stolen moments with her and was lying as still as possible to not attract a conversation with anyone. He felt the bed dip but it seemed unfamiliar and only to hear Arti's voice asking about her hairstyle. Really! And as he opened his eyes he noticed that Shehnaaz too heard this and ofcourse her being her walked off in a huff! He mentally face palmed himself and flung off the covers and scurried off towards her direction without even replying or acknowledging what Arti said.

He non chalantly walked over to where she had gone and found her chatting with Vikas and bagga. He did not want them to realise that there was something amiss between so he tried to act casual. Pretended to saunter over to the smoking room and when it was busy walked over to where they were. She immediately latched onto him and gave away the fact that there were once again struggling to find balance. He closed his eyes in exasperation  as subtle he was! She was that much more brazen. Completely unapologetic about her life. He loved that about her, he could not wait to get out of this house and if she too wanted it live their life with their differences strengthening their togetherness.