Therapy (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 1 - First session

Harry’s always thought turning twenty one would mean three things: freedom, wisdom and certainty. He grew up being excited to get to this age. He knew he’d be legal everywhere, would be taken seriously, be called an adult and have his life figured out. Unfortunately, if there was three things Harry wasn’t, it was free, wise and certain.

He would spend his weekends drinking with his best friend Niall, a guy he met at a party in ninth grade and never left since. They would go downtown, hit every single club after emptying every single bar and always end up nearly unconscious in their bed the next morning. It wasn’t the best way to kill time, but, for Harry anyway, it was the best way to kill his demons, or at least keep them away for a while.

Harry had been struggling with depression since high school. He doesn’t really know how it happened but, one day, he just woke up and was sad he did. It wasn’t just laziness or a coup de blues that made him feel that way. But he didn’t know what did either. He was the kind of person to hold everything inside, keep everything to himself, yet expect others to notice when something’s wrong.

He had never been able to hurt someone, anyone but himself anyway. He was kind, generous and his smile brought light anywhere he walked. He wasn’t doing that great with school, but it wasn’t that bad either. He had lots of friends but felt like he had none.

To sum up how Harry’s life is would be to sum up how most twenty one year old is like: lost. If you asked him what his favourite TV show is, he’d know the answer, but if you asked what he’s planning on doing for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t have a clue.

That night, he was getting ready to go to the pub with Niall, just like every Thursday night. They would drink a few pints, hit the club and take shots before hooking up with some girl they’d meet or get smashed on the street. It wasn’t the ideal night when put like that, but that’s what they did over and over again, never questioning it.

He wasn’t the type to settle. Weekly hook ups was all he could handle. Yes, he did want to get married, have children and everything, but he found it impossible to put up with the same person over a week. So it became his thing, sleeping with different girls every week, making it clear to never expect more from him or consider him as more than just a one night stand.

It’s not that he didn’t want to have a girlfriend, he wanted a relationship, he thought. But every time he met a girl, it wouldn’t feel right. It was as if there was a sort of utter void and numbness, one he couldn’t bear.

‘Hey mate ! This is Paige, she goes to Cramsford Hill and is very, very interesting…’ Niall introduced his newly made friend and winked the last word to Harry.

‘Hi babe.’ Harry smirked to the girl who giggled as she played with her hair. Ugh. Another one.

He hated that kind. The girls who would try to act cute and end up looking desperate. He hated the kind of girl who would try to hit on him, he liked to be the one to do that. Thinking about it, there wasn’t much he liked in a girl. He hadn’t found one that he could think much of, not in a good way. He respected them, yes, but he didn’t care about them. Not one of them.

‘Come on.’ He whispered in her ear, guiding her by her waist to hit the middle of the club.