Kurt Cobain Imagines

A Dream

The year was 2021. In the midst of a global pandemic, you sought any escape you could find. You found your solace in imagining you were in the early nineties, when times seemed simpler and the music was definitely better.
You'd been watching YouTube clips of your favorite early nineties band, Nirvana. Kurt Cobain was your favorite musician. It broke your heart that he was gone. You would have given anything just to see Nirvana perform, let alone meet him.
You felt tears fill your eyes and immediately felt silly, even though you were alone. How was it possible to miss someone who had been gone so long? How could you get so emotional over someone you've never met? Kurt didn't feel so far away. You figured his spirit probably lived on somewhere. You weren't really sure quite what you believed in that regard. But you hoped he was at peace, somewhere.
Your eyelids were starting to grow heavy as you watched Nirvana's MTV Unplugged performance for the millionth time. At some point during Kurt singing "Something in the Way" you drifted off to sleep.

You were sitting in a warm meadow filled with wildflowers. The sun shone brightly in the sky above and your tiny meadow seemed to be surrounded by peaceful old trees on every side. You noticed that you had a worn quilt underneath you. You smiled. This was nice and pleasant compared to your usual nightmares.
You looked all around you and were startled to suddenly see someone else sharing the blanket with you. And not just anyone. Good God.
His hair was medium-length and blonde, gleaming in the sun. He wore what you'd expect: tattered jeans and a worn flannel shirt, converse high tops on his feet. His perfectly shaped face had just a slight amount of stubble, and his eyes—those intensely blue eyes stared directly into yours and sent a chill down your spine from the energy within them. There were so many emotions on display, but the most powerful one was a deep sense of peace. You were face to face with a healthy, very much alive-looking Kurt Cobain.
"Umm, hi..." you stuttered stupidly.
"Hi (Y/N)," he replied gently. "Don't be afraid. It's safe here."
"Okay. Where are we? Am I dead?" You asked nervously.
"No, you are just sleeping. This is a different plane that is nowhere you can go when you're awake. It's not important."
"Okay," you answered. "Why am I here then?"
"Well, I noticed you... noticed that you listen to my music a lot. And I noticed how much you've struggled with depression and mental illness. I've seen all that you've been through. I thought you could use a break from it all. So I brought you here."
"Wow, thank you," you stammered, feeling tears well up in your eyes. Kurt studied you as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
"Smoke?" he offered. "They won't even kill you here." He let out a small chuckle.
"Sure," you answered, taking one and lighting it.
"So, are you like a ghost?" You asked curiously, taking a long drag of your cigarette. Kurt looked so solid and real, not translucent like you imagined a ghost would be.
"Not quite. I'm a spirit, I guess you'd say. On your plane in the living world, I can visit but you can't see me there. Well, some people with psychic abilities possibly could. But mostly no one does. But here, I feel every bit as alive as I ever have."
"That's amazing," you answered. "So, then this is what happens when we die?"
"To some people," Kurt answered vaguely. "That's not important to you now. You'll know when you're ready."
"Do you like it? Being dead?"
"I prefer to think of it as being free," Kurt answered. "And yes. I am so at peace now. It's amazing." You smiled, tears filling your eyes, knowing that Kurt was free and happy, having reached his own nirvana, you supposed.
You finished your cigarettes, tossing them aside when you were done. Tears lingered in your eyes.
"Don't cry, (Y/N)," Kurt said softly. "That's not why I brought you here. Come here." He motioned for you to scoot closer to him. As you did, you were filled with nerves. But he wrapped his arms around you and you instantly felt an intense sense of calm. You relaxed against him, breathing in deeply. You were comforted by the way he smelled—like cigarettes and aftershave, but in a very pleasant way.
Kurt leaned back so that he was lying on the ground and pulled you close so that you were resting against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
"I know how much you struggle," he said softly. "I felt that struggle so much. All of that pain. You're not alone in it. Okay? I've got you."
You nodded as tears filled your eyes. You couldn't help it. Kurt brushed a hand through your hair.
"I know you think about giving up," he continued. "But you can't do that. You are stronger than that. You have people in your life that want you there. You're loved." You cried harder against Kurt's chest.
"It's so hard sometimes," you sobbed.
"I know, I know," he comforted you gently. "But I've got you. You're going to be okay." You drew in a few deep breaths and started to feel better.
"So, do you still play music?" you asked curiously, changing the subject.
"Sometimes," Kurt answered. "It was really hard for me at first. I couldn't even think about it. But now I can. I'm not haunted by my past anymore."
"It's crazy," you continued. "I've thought I sensed you around. Like, it seemed like you couldn't be gone for as long as you have."
"Well, I haven't really been gone," Kurt answered. "Your senses were right. I've been around sometimes to help you, okay? When you feel that, it's me."
"Okay," you replied quietly with tear-filled eyes again. Kurt just gently rubbed your back.
"Hey, let's just relax a while before you have to go back, alright?"
"Sure," you answered. Kurt gave you a very soft kiss on your forehead and you snuggled against him, your eyes closed, completely at peace.
You had no idea how long you stayed that way, but it was pure bliss.
"Hey, (Y/N), you're waking up," Kurt whispered gently. "It's going to be okay." He gently kissed your forehead again.
"Bye, Kurt," you muttered, feeling disoriented.
"I'll see you again soon," he answered as you felt everything start to fade away.

You awoke gradually, on your couch, your laptop still sitting in front of you. You yawned as you remembered your dream. But had it been a dream? It felt so real—different from other dreams. Kurt. You had met Kurt. Was it really possible?
You were suddenly overwhelmed by the same sense of calm that you felt when you were in Kurt's arms. You could even very faintly smell the scent of his cigarettes and aftershave. Maybe it was real, and maybe not. But you would believe it, you decided. What could it hurt? And maybe you'd be able to go back and see him again soon. You could only hope.