60 seconds before i go

chapter one: what if?

        So tell me, if you had 60 second left to live, what would you do?

would you be felling regret for not saying or because you said what you thought, would you be happy because you had a great life or would you be sad cause you didnt enjoyed your life like you wanted to? I used to make this question a lot to myself, but now it may be the last time I ever think about anything. what leads us to make a decision to end the most precious thing we have? I've always wanted to live a life like the ones in the movies, have that amazing and romantic relationship, amazing group of friends, and be happy, bt it seems like movies tricked us. What i have is an ordinary life. Ups and downs like any other, not bad but nolt exacly ideal, as i think you can already see it.

     hi, my name is Celeste and im gonna tell the reason why i took one step foward standing in  the edge of a bulding

- august 3, 7:30am -

      I have no idea if I should be happy or nervous, but after not going to school because of Covid everything just sounds brand new for me. I was finally getting back the years that I lost, at least I hope so.
I lost most of my friends, just simply stoped talking to them, and most of them got angry with me and I have no idea why, I just wish they would tell me. At least I still have 3 friends and I'll probably make new ones. Nothing in life is permanent, everything is always changing, my dad likes to say
First day year and month of high school, thats when everything is supposes to change right? For better or worst I needed a few changes in my life. For the past year, everyday was the same, wake up, have online class, have lunch, do homework, watch something, have dinner and creat millions of storys before bed.
You have to dream big sometimes. Somehow I managed to stay pretty much stable this year. I have my future all planed the way is supposed to be, millions of possibilities but I have no idea if any of them is gonna happen.
I don't know if I'm okay or if I've been so busy living in the future that I just forgot of how my life was terrible. Maybe that's the point you know?

-8am-

I arrived to school. Everything seems the same, just like when if left here. Most people hate going to school but I really liked it you know? Not to study but the place, to see my friends, and to just be there. 2022 is gonna be my year, I know I've been saying that for the past 3 years but this is gonna be. We are free of Covid, I'm starting my freshman year and it's all gonna be ok.
When I get there I see a few of my friends, they were weirdly surprised to see me, but they were also really happy, I mean, we haven't seen each other in a long time. So we went to our classroom together.
I was involved in a lot of drama, I new a lot of people, so people liked to put me in their fights even when I had nothing to do about it.
I like to see my life as a movie, and to do most of my decisions like I'm someone watching the série of my life, and what they would want me to do. I know it's weird but it works.
       Because i knew a lot of people i ended up knowing a lot of things about them. I would aways know when someone is saying somehing about me, or about anyone and that was pretty good sometimes. but it could be bad. belive me you dont aways wanna know what people think about you, somethings just dont needed to be known.

as i said this year i wanted to stay out of drama and i needed to start somewhere, before everything i needed to apologize to a few people.

you know that "dream" that your best friend date the best friend of your boyfriend? yeah, well that didint went very good. I had this friend, his name is michael. We used to joke that he was going to be the next michael jordan, since their fisical caracteristics were pretty similar and they both played basketball. but my friend is not that tall tho. We know each other for 5 years, and before you think, no we never dated. we have a promisse that we will never date cause we now it will ruin our friendship. He would have been one of the reasons to make me stay you know? He would have been a reason to make me stay if he wasn't one of the reasons to make me jump.
       Next  we have my ex best friend Amelia. Blue eyes, blond, topical popular girl. He have actually a weird story. Remember when a said that I knew a lot of people? Well, it wasn't really in the best way. The short story is that is 6th grade I had a stupid figth with a girl, and because she was really popular basically her whole class and all of her friends started to hate me even though they didn't knew me.  So did she. She begging to study in my school and all she heard about me was bad things. And then she started to not like me, and also say bad things about me with time. And then you ask me: how can you be friends with someone like that? Well, people change, at least I thought
          Next it's my ex boyfriend. He is a little more complicated. Well, he is in jail for homicide. A few months ago this girl of our school just simply vanished. She was gone and no one could found her. At least that was what they told me I didn't knew much about it and to be honest I don't know if I really wanted.  They spent months trying to find her but they didn't, until they found her necklace covered in her blood and then they thought that she had died. But they never found the body. You must be wondering what my ex boyfriend have to do with that? Well I'll tell you. The girl was his ex girlfriend and evidences and cameras showed that he was in the place at the time that she was gone and they found his fingerprints in the place they found her necklace. I don't really wanna go into details, I like to think that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that I didn't date a murderer.
    He was just so I don't know enchanted? Like that guy that understands you and has that wonderful hair and eyes and is like Louis partridge? Except for the name, and physical my Louis and Louis partridge dont have much in common. And the fact that Louis P is not a killer. I think. Anyways I thought was a nice guy, louis gilenhal you were such a nice guy what have you done?
        I stoped talking to myself when he got into the cafeteria. Suddenly everyone just stoped talking, a huge silence was present. Nobody moved, nobody barely breathe. After a few seconds I hear a few people whispering
"Is that her?" "Is she really here?" "Do you think it was all just a plan?" "Are we all—"
      Before the guy could finish his sentence me and my friends hear a noise of a dor opening. We slowly turn around and what we saw shocked us.
   Of course. It had to be a shooting in my school in my first day back. But it could always get worst couldn't  it?