Mr. Incredible x Cat In The Hat

Chapter One: Bob and the Cat

It was a romance of the ages, forbidden by all. Forgotten by none. The Cat in the Hat grinned cheekily from under the sparkling brim of his top hat. Mr. Incredible blushed, face turning the same tomato-red as his suit. "May I have this dance?" The Cat in the Hat asked, extending a paw out to the superhuman. Mr. Incredible stumbled over his words. He felt like a schoolboy. "Mr. The Hat--I--I...I shouldn't...my wife..." The Cat in the Hat laughed, the sound of tinkling bells in the warmth of springtime. "First of all, Mr. Incredible," He started, leaning in closer. "You may call me The Cat. Second of all...who said she has to know?" Mr. Incredible accepted The Cat's paw, relishing the softness of fur. He felt butterflies rise in his stomach. This felt so wrong...yet, so right. "Well then..." He said as they began to waltz, Mr. Incredible looking up into the cat's big, shiny eyes. "If I may call you The Cat, then you may call me Bob." The Cat looked down dashingly at Bob, eyelids lowered seductively. "I'd much rather call you mine." Bob blushed again, and continued to waltz with the cat, unaware of the figure lurking in the doorway.

Bob and the Cat left the nightclub after dancing the night away. The Cat seemingly couldn't keep his hands off him. Bob rather enjoyed the feeling of the cat's large paws on his waist as they swayed to the beat of Baby Shark. Bob had never blushed so much. Neither had the Cat, although that was easily disguised beneath his fur. They paused under a street lamp. "I've called a car." Bob said, looking down at his phone to check the time. 1 am. He swallowed a lump of guilt as he saw his lockscreen: His wife and children. God, how could he do this? Bob looked up, about to tell the Cat that this would be the last time, when the Cat softly cupped his cheek, leaned down, and kissed him. Bob felt sparks. "That's the last time, Cat. I can't do this anymore." Bob said, pulling away. "This was destiny." The Cat whispered, stroking Bob's face as he looked into his eyes. The Cat's 8-foot tall frame was lanky and furry, perfectly illuminated by the glow of the streetlight. "I can't do this! I can't keep treating Helen like this! She deserves better!" Bob fought back tears. "You just can't help yourself, Bob. From the first time we locked eyes, I could feel it. I knew you would be mine." "Shut up! Stop saying that, Cat! I..I.." Bob stumbled over his words again and the Cat leaned in for another kiss, but Bob pushed him away. "I was drunk. That's all it was. This isn't fair to Helen." "Bob, don't do this to me--" The Cat in the hat started, pleading with bob. "I can't believe what I've done." Bob laid his rectangular head in his hands. "Bob...I...I...I love you." The cat said softly, holding Bob's hands between his own. "You don't even know me! We talked for tonight, that was all!" Bob wrenched his hands from the cat's grip. "I know you love long walks on the beach...caviar...elevator music...children's laughter." The cat said, face full of concern and heartbreak. "Everybody loves those things." bob muttered bitterly. He looked down at his phone. At Helen, Violet, Jack-Jack and that other one. "Goodbye, Mr. Cat-In-The-Hat." The cat sighed. It was over. "Goodbye, mr. Incredible." Bob's car pulled up, and he got inside. The cat got one last look before he was driven away. A figure emerged from the shadows. "I told you he wouldn't do it." The cat said. "What do we do now?" The figure stepped under the cat's legs and into the lamplight beam. "We'll do whatever we have to to break up that family." Kuromi smiled.

Kuromi and My Melody were twins with very different lives. Kuromi ran a crime ring in New York City, and controlled her sister through blackmail. The Incredibles had been stopping their schemes for years--so the family must be split up and then destroyed. Kuromi climbed up the cat's lanky body and bit him in the face. "What was that for, you little rodent?" The cat yelled. Kuromi slapped him. "You messed up the job, pal." She slid back down to the ground. "Want to get kept with Melody in the dungeon?" The cat gulped. Kuromi was one scary bunny.

Back at the Incredible's home, Bob returned late. The house was dark. He breathed a sigh of relief, knowing everyone was in bed. He sighed. He blushed. He had failed himself. He had failed Helen. At least he hadn't gone too far with the cat, otherwise it would have been far too late. "Bob?" Bob whirled around to find his wife had turned into the ceiling fan. She un-stretched herself and wobbled across the room. "Why's there cat fur on your collar?" "I...was petting a lot of cats." Bob said uncomfortably. "I know where you were, Bob." Helen said slowly. "You were out with that sleazy cat, weren't you?!" "Helen--I--" "DON'T LIE TO ME!" Helen sobbed. "I can smell cat dander on your clothes! And I'm very allergic!" "Why would--" Helen began to stretch into a new shape. "Would you love me more if I looked like this? Huh?" Helen had transformed into the shape of the cat in the hat. Bob burst into tears. "Helen!" "I'll be packing my things. This was the last straw."