Roommates | CHONI |

Twenty Five

Cheryl had become a little more talkative as the week went on, but she didn't leave her room nor did she see her friends. She hadn't told Toni the awful things that had happened to her while she was at home either. She did however spend all of her time in the shower crying. Her body still bruised and sore. The way she craved the blade of the razor to run along her skin to relieve some of the emotional pain becoming like a drug she needed to control at least one aspect of her pathetic life but Toni had hidden the it and replaced it with hair remover. The redhead couldn't bring it up either because that would mean she'd have to talk about it and she definitely wasn't ready for that yet. She thought about Toni as the water ran down her body though, how sweet and patient she had been with her even when the redhead was snappy or not interested in conversation. Cheryl could constantly feel the anger in the pit of her stomach though, slowly burning away at her and spilling out piece by piece no matter how hard she tried not to acknowledge it. She was angry at her parents, angry for what had happened to her but most of all she was angry at herself for allowing herself to become a victim.

Toni had just been out to get some food for them both while Cheryl showered. She placed it down on the bed as she waited for the redhead to be done. When Cheryl came back into the room Toni could tell she was in a bad mood. She looked over to the Serpent 'I'm sorry Toni, I'm not hungry'. 'Come on Cher you've got to eat something' Toni encouraged. 'No I'm fine' Cheryl said pulling on her sweats. 'Cheryl please'. 'For god sake I said no! Stop pushing me!' Cheryl hoped Toni leave it at that, her anger starting to boil over. 'Cheryl wants going on? I'm only trying to look after you?' Toni raised her voice slightly and that's all it took. Like a light switch her demeanour changed, her face stilled as she glared at Toni sat on her bed 'why huh? Why do you want to look after me? I'm not worth it Toni, don't you see that? I am a waste of space, an emotional anorexic who is not worthy of love'. 'Cher...' Toni tried to say her voice cracking. 'No Toni, I'm right and you know it. You can do so much better than me. You deserve better' Cheryl knew it wasn't Toni's fault and when she looked in the other girls eyes tears falling down she knew she had to get out of here before she said something she'd regret. She did love Toni, more than anything but she couldn't stop the anger running through her veins. Feeling like the walls were closing in on her she had to get out 'I can't do this Toni, I'm sorry I can't'. She grabbed her jacket and ran through the door. Toni knew she wouldn't keep up with the redhead. She grabbed her phone sending a message to her friends 'Cheryl's bolted we need to find her' before rushing out the door and chasing after her. As she expected Cheryl was out of sight, she decided to jump on her bike figuring it would be faster to search the area.

Cheryl just ran she had no shoes on only socks in her rush to get out, she just needed to get away. She felt awful for the way she treat Toni. It was herself she hated not her girlfriend. She had come to a bench just outside of the forest, it was isolated at this time of night so she knew she'd be left alone. She just cried, she cried and screamed until she felt empty. It was starting to get cold and she had no where to go, she'd been there for a couple of hours her mind replaying every awful thing that had happened to her. The only reason she got through it was thinking about Toni and in true Cheryl Blossom style she had ruined it. 'I wish you was here Jason, I need you' she cried to the skies. A bright light on the road caught her barely caught her attention as it quickly got closer. She didn't even look up as whoever it were stopped in front of her. 'Cheryl' she heard Jughead sigh 'we've been looking everywhere for you'. Cheryl still didn't look up, she was done, so done. The dark hair boy approached her slowly stopping in front of her 'Cheryl what's going on?'. 'It's none of your business' she huffed. 'Actually it is, Toni's in pieces, she's worried sick about you'. 'Well what are you doing here then'. 'Come on Cheryl, let's us help you'. 'Help me?' Cheryl said standing up, there the anger was again 'how about you leave me alone' she pushed the boy backwards. 'I'm not leaving you Cheryl'. 'Just go' she pushed him back again, Jughead knew how it felt to be angry, Cheryl had to release it and if it was on him then so be it. 'Sorry no, Cheryl this isn't your fault' as soon as he put his hands on her she lost it. 'Get your hands off me' she tried to push him away but he didn't budge. She began beating her fist into his chest 'I'm not a fucking victim Jughead. I'm an awful person, I don't deserve friends and I don't deserve Toni. I wish it was me that died that day not Jason' her punches becoming less powerful as she started to sob 'I don't want to live my life like this, I'm so fed up. I can't do this anymore!' she cried as she fell to the floor against Jughead who kept his arms wrapped around her. 'It's okay Cheryl, everything's going to be okay. We all love you, you're not alone. You mean everything to Toni, she was a wreck when you were gone, she loves you Red'. 'She'll not want anything to do with me now. I've ruined it'. 'Of course you haven't, talk to her, let go of the anger Cheryl don't let it consume you'. Jughead pulled out his phone 'I'm just going to call Toni to let her know you're safe and that'll I'll get you home okay?' Cheryl just nodded against his chest.

'Hey T, I've got her... yeah she's safe... yeah I'll get her back as soon as she's ready... Okay I'll see you later' Jughead hung up the phone. 'I'm so sorry Jughead, I hurt you' Cheryl sniffled. 'It's fine Cheryl, I was expecting it and I've had my fair share of punches, do you feel a little better now?'. 'A little, I guess' she shrugged. 'Well if you never need a personal punchbag I'm here for you' Jughead chuckled. 'No, that won't happen again' she shook her head. 'Shall we get you back home?' he asked. 'Toni won't want to see me Jug, I fucked up, big time'. 'Stop pushing her away Cheryl, no matter what you tell her you can't scare her away, she's there for you regardless' he squeezed her tight 'come on let's get back' he said standing and taking her hand pulling her up. 'You expect me to get on that' she said as her nose scrunched up. 'Yeah I do, get on' he said throwing her a helmet and getting on before she had the chance to refuse. She pulled the helmet on to her head with a huff and climbed on the back of the bike. 'Hold on' Jughead said as he started the engine and pulled off. Cheryl was terrified, well she was at first, once she had opened her eyes she relaxed. She actually felt free for just a second as her hair danced in the wind. The speed that Jughead was going made the ride a lot shorter and he was soon pulling up outside the dorms. He got off the bike to help her down 'do you need me to come with? he asked kindly. 'No I've got to do this myself' she tried to smile. 'Okay Red'. 'Thank you Jughead, for everything'. 'Anytime Blossom' he said pulling her in for a hug 'now go get your girl'.

Cheryl stood outside the door to her room a solid five minutes before she dared to even touch the handle. Thoughts whizzing through her mind, she tried to separate the bad from the good. Letting Toni's voice guide her while pushing her parents evil words out of her head. With a steady breath she twisted the handle and pushed it open before stepping inside.