The Hermit Herbalist

Chapter 33 - Loki Is Useful

For her first day on Midgard, Loki looked to see how she could make herself useful.  She kept Darian strapped to her chest (like a papoose, according to Tony), and set about finding things to do.  She did the dishes in the kitchen, even though Jarvis informed her that it was a joint task.  Loki began to dust and clean hers and Clint's level of the tower, even though Jarvis said that Tony had a professional cleaning service.  "Where might I go to market to purchase fresh ingredients?" Loki asked as she put a little hat on Darian's head and strapped him to her chest again.

"Madam, we have our groceries delivered," Jarvis' voice said.

"Well... that will not do," Loki commented as she went in search of Clint.  She found him in the gym with Natasha, sparring.  "Clint!" Loki called and she distracted him.  Natasha jumped up, wrapped her ankles ar9999999ound his neck, and threw him to the mat.  Loki winced at the imagined pain and Clint shoved Natasha off him.

"That doesn't count!" he insisted before he walked over to Loki.  "What's up?" he asked as he kissed her and patted Darian's head.  He paused when he saw it was covered with a hat.  "What's going on?" Clint posed.

"I was informed by the bodiless guard that you have your 'groceries' delivered.  Has your time on Nornheim taught you nothing of the joy and sensibility of picking or hunting your own food?" Loki rejoined as she jounced their son.  Natasha chortled at her gentle rebuke, but Clint rolled his eyes.

"They don't let you go hunting pigeons in Central Park.  They would arrest you for animal cruelty.  And you don't trade for food for favors here either.  You have to pay cash or credit," Clint explained.

"Great.  A wonderful system that either forces you to spend worthless paper not backed by gold or other precious metals, or even better, imaginary money," Loki said and Clint's eyes bugged out of his head.  "I may have read an economics book from Stark's library after you fell asleep last night," Loki admitted.  

"In a night?" Clint queried and Loki blushed.

"I found it very educational," she explained and Clint laughed, kissing her.

"You're so smart!  And Darian will be smart too!  Alright, if you insist on going out, we can go to a supermarket and I can show you how we shop on earth."

"The prices are nauseating.  Inflation is real," Loki commented as she placed bag of potatoes back in the bin, worth 95 cents a pound.

"Would you stop going on about the prices.  I knew I shouldn't have brought you to a upper class market," Clint said dourly as he pushed the cart behind her.  Loki glared at him over her shoulder.  She was used to doing chores and exchanging remedies for goods.  She worked and received a reward; now, she was spending money that was gifted to her in order to purchase things.

"And you wonder why poorer people can't afford better quality food," Loki said as she adjusted Darian on her chest and began to study the meat as it rested behind the glass.  The deli man smiled at Clint and gave Loki an approving gaze.  Clint frowned as the man blatantly eyed up his wife.  

"What would you like, miss?" he asked.

"Do you have any fresh boar in?" Loki posed in return and the man's eyes popped and he stammered in confusion.  Clint started to laugh and approached the counter, covering his mouth to stifle his chuckles.

"I'm sorry, she means what ham have you got?" Clint said.

"No, I meant boar," Loki whispered in return, realizing that Midgard probably did not hunt wild boars anymore.  The worker got them a good chunk of ham, and Loki also ordered a pork tenderloin.  Clint watched as she picked out other ingredients for what looked like a medieval dinner before she said she was done and they could go home.  Darian behaved the entire trip and Clint was impressed.  When they returned to the tower, Loki set up shop in the kitchen and placed Darian in a baby seat on the counter.  "Now out.  I'll call all you back once dinner has been made," Loki said as she shoved Clint out of the room.  The archer accepted her decision and left without putting up a fight.  He knew better.

It was hours later when the Avengers received an official request to come to the kitchen.  Upon arrival, they heard Nordic music playing on the iPad speakers, and found a veritable feast waiting for them.  Pork wrapped in thin ham slices and bacon, with cut and fried potatoes, drizzled in bacon grease and cheese.  Loki had opened one of Tony's bottles of wine (without asking) and had glasses at everyone's place, (except for her own) along with water.  Asparagus was in a separate plate on the table covered in salt, pepper, and melted butter.  "Wow!  What am I witnessing?!" Tony exclaimed as he darted to his seat like an excited child.  Pepper rolled her eyes before turning to Loki.

"Thank you for cooking.  You didn't have to do that; but everything looks delicious," she said.

"You're welcome.  I figured that people might appreciate a home cooked meal," Loki answered with a smile as she lightly touched Darian's cheek.  The baby burbled and flexed his fingers with a smile.  Clint kissed him before he kissed Loki.  The Avengers sat down and Loki began to serve them.

"You don't have to wait on us, Loki," Steve commented.

"But I like doing this.  It makes me happy," Loki said as she served Clint first and then went from there.

"Your cooking is wonderful, sister!  You are truly gifted!" Thor boomed as he raised his glass of wine to her.  Darian did not like the raucous tone of his voice and started to whine.  Loki quickly soothed him and Clint shook his head at Thor.  "Sorry," the God of Thunder apologized in a much quieter voice.

"You're welcome," Loki whispered back with a smile.