Blonde on Blonde

Chapter One

Vic needed to take a leak. Without opening his eyes he rolled out of bed. Pain reverberated through his body pulsating out from his abdomen.

What the fuck?

Vic, opened his crusty eyes, blinking several times before the blurry shapes became recognisable objects. He threw his head back. He was in a fucking hospital. He tried to rub his eyes, some crusty sleep had fallen into it. He heard the clang of metal against metal. Vic laughed, seeing irony in being handcuffed to a fucking hospital bed. You better get better asshole so we can lock you up until you die.

That fucking traitor, Mr Orange. All that fucking time it was him. That fucking asshole probably thought The Beatles were better than The King. Fucking establishment loving, bootlicking son of a bitch. Ah fuck, it's done now. The bastard probably bled out.

Still feeling the urge to pee, Vic was almost tempted to piss himself so the asshole cops would have to come in and move him so they could change his sheets. Although, then he'd be dirty. Vic shuddered. he didn't like being dirty, it felt, icky.

Vic looked around the nearly bare room. At least he got a private room, who needs health insurance? Peering down the side of the bed he noticed a bag hanging on the edge of the bed, filling with dark yellow liquid. It looked like piss. Still in a sleep haze, it took Vic a few moments to realise it was his piss.

Panic filled him as he used his feet to desperately pull down his blankets. He used his hands pulling on the handcuffs and hard as he can to lift his paper thin hospital gown. Relief flowed through him, he still had his dick. He would rather be dead than have no dick. One of the only times Vic felt something was when he was balls deep in a sweet piece of ass. Speaking of balls, he couldn't quite see them but they looked ok too.

How long had he been out? No real way to tell from here. The pain wasn't too bad though so he must have healed some. Pain was something he could deal with. They must have him on some good shit to have kept him asleep so long. He lifted his legs and pushed them against the bottom of the bed. They seemed strong enough, can't have been out more than a few weeks then. He should be able to walk. All he had to do was come up with a way to get out of this fucking place.

He shook his chains and whistled. There would be at least one cop outside, he'd just have to get their attention.

The door opened slowly and a young pimply cop stuck his head in. Fuck, they take high school kids now? Cops are a fucking joke. Vic bet he didn't have to shave more than once a week.

Vic groaned feigning pain. Vic was good at that, feigning emotions. He deserved a fucking Oscar for the performances he gave daily. Or at least an Emmy.

"Get the doc, I'm in fucking pain." Vic croaked out.

"You're awake," the cop said.

Vic nearly broke character. This fucking guy. "No shit, Sherlock. I'm fucking dying here."

"Ok, ok," the cop said. "I'll get the doctor." Fucking pussy.

Using his toes, Vic grabbed hold of the catheter and started pulling it out. It hurt like a mother fucker. He grit his teeth knowing it was going to sting like a bitch every time he pissed for the foreseeable future. That'll be alright. He's had those sex diseases before, he could deal with it. He just had to get in contact with his brother and he will organise a doc to fix him up. Then off to Mexico. He had heard there was a real good titty bar down there, just over the boarder. He'd have to check it out.

With a last sharp yank the catheter sprung out and piss leaked everywhere. Vic scrunched his face up in disgust. The plan had better fucking work.