You'll Never Love Me

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pairing: 90s!Luke Patterson x Fem!Reader
word count: 1,986
warnings: Angst, unrequited love, mentions of underage drinking, etc.

Some people say that falling in love is a dangerous game. All your life, you never understood what they meant. You always thought that finding love, finding the one was the greatest experience that life had to offer you, that it was the one thing everyone lived for. And that's how you always pictured it. Until you fell in love with your best friend. And then you realised that everyone was right. Falling in love was a dangerous game, and you lost.

You didn't even mean for it to happen. One day, Luke was your best friend, your rock, the boy you've known since you were four, the boy you grew up with and started a band with. And then, one day you woke up, and you wanted more. You wanted his hand on your shoulder to linger for just a little longer, you went to bed thinking about what life would be like if you were together. It confused you at first, and then you realised what it all meant. And it was a secret well-kept for the past 3 years.

No one knew how in love you were with your best friend. How every time you got on stage, every time you shared a mic and harmonised together, you felt energy buzzing between you and all you could think was, 'I wanna live in this moment forever, because he loves me. Right here, right now, he loves me.'

But every time you stepped off that stage, and he slapped you appreciatively on the back the same way he did with Alex, Reggie, and Bobby, you knew he didn't. You knew that he was just in the moment, on stage and feeding off the adrenaline of the performance and the energy of the crowd. You liked it on stage, because then you could get lost in how it felt to believe in the possibility that maybe, just maybe he could love you back.

There were moments, milliseconds in time where your heart raced and you had hope. Hope that maybe he was just scared to admit it, just like you were. But you knew you were lying to yourself. You knew you were lying yourself, but it didn't stop it from hurting. And when it hurt, you never thought you could feel more alone.

Not until that night. Not until you met her.

— — —

The party was still raging, and you had just arrived at another house party that someone in your school was throwing. Luke told you that he would meet everyone there, and that he wanted you all to meet someone. So, that night, you and Alex went in his car and Reggie went with Bobby in his van, and now here you were, wading through a sea of drunk teenagers as you searched for Luke.

You found him in the kitchen talking to someone, who was blocked by his body. Bobby called out to him as the four of you broke free from the overwhelming sea of bodies, and your heart skipped a beat as he smiled at you, looking perfect in the harsh lighting. Until he turned and wrapped his arm around a girl's petite frame, pulling her into his side and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. That was when you felt your heart stop.

Your smile faded as Reggie dragged you over to the two, listening as Luke rambled. "Thalia, these are my friends. Guys, this is Thalia. My girlfriend."

You never thought you could feel so alone in such a crowded room. It was unbearable. Everything was too loud, too noisy. You'd just gotten there, and you already wanted to go home. You pursed your lips into a thin line, praying that no one noticed while Luke and Thalia conversed with your friends. Suddenly, when you couldn't take it anymore, you said, "I'm gonna go grab some air, okay? It's uh- it's getting a little stuffy in here."

Without waiting for a response, you darted out the front door and sat on the curb outside, where there were no drunk teenagers to hide your tears from. You let the cold air seep through your flannel overshirt as you wrapped your arms around your knees, keeping your head down to try and keep your tears from anyone's view. You heard someone walking toward you and then sitting down next to you. After a few moments of silence, Alex said, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

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