Something Like a Hero

Part 2

"No, I won't accept this unless you give me a good reason, Severus," Dumbledore retorted after hearing all Severus had to say.

"Headmaster, this is final. I'm retiring whether you find someone to fill my place or not," Severus stated.

Dumbledore looked at him with gentle eyes. "You're too young to retire."

"I won't retire exactly," Severus said, looking down. He couldn't face Dumbledore. The Headmaster always knew what Severus was feeling when their eyes met. "I need some time alone to think things over. Maybe I'll open a shop in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley."

"If you want a vacation, just say so, but I won't dismiss you from your duties in this school. No matter what you think, you're truly needed here."

Severus knew that was a lie. No one needed him. Dumbledore had hired him in the past because Severus had nowhere else to go because he was broken and his reputation was mud. Dumbledore had been the only one to give him a second chance. Severus was thankful for that, but it was time for him to let go. One of the reasons he'd stayed for so long in Hogwarts was Potter. He had been obsessed with the idea of protecting the boy, and by doing so, he paid his duty to Harry's father. Mission accomplished, now it was time to move on.

"What's troubling you, my dear boy?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

Severus looked up, his eyes shimmering. Dumbledore had always treated him like he was still a boy instead of a man. The Headmaster had always been kind to him, but then again, Dumbledore was kind to everybody. Severus considered him as a father, the gentle and understanding father he had never had. That was why he couldn't tell Dumbledore what had happened between Potter and him. He couldn't bear to see the disappointment in Dumbledore's eyes.

"Nothing is bothering me," Severus said quietly, lying shamelessly.

"You know I consider you a son, Severus." Severus' heart beat faster, but he said nothing. "A son that has mishaps; a rebel son that – as it normally happens – thought he knew too much of the world and chose a wrong path but eventually came back matured. Although sometimes I see that same rebel boy in your eyes, I know you don't mean it. You're not that boy anymore, even if you still hold on to old grudges from your past. You forget that I know you better than anyone else. I know your heart, even if you don't show it. That's why I know for sure that something is bothering you. You've wanted to leave before, but never with this urgency. Tell me, does your decision have anything to do with Harry Potter?"

Severus tried to hide his astonishment, but he wasn't quick enough. Dumbledore noticed his slip.

"Is there anything you wish to tell me, Severus?"

Severus opened his mouth but nothing came out. He couldn't tell Dumbledore. The Headmaster wouldn't forgive him for taking advantage of Harry Potter, even if it had only happened once.

"No, Headmaster, there's nothing to tell."

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "Here's what we'll do. I'll rearrange your timetable so you can have more free time to think things over as you put it. After a month, if you still wish to go, I won't stop you, although it will be a great loss for this school, and for me."

Severus nodded in acceptance. "Thank you, Headmaster."

Severus turned to leave, but Dumbledore's next words made him flinch almost imperceptibly.

"You've turned out to be a great man, Severus. You've expiated your sins already. It's time to let go, yes, but not in the same way you think. Allow yourself to love, Severus. Isn't there a song that says 'All you need is love'? I really love that song..." Dumbledore smiled.