17 - The boy who's numb

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Dear Heartbreaker...

I wish I could feel.

The last thing I remember feeling is the excruciating pain of knowing you're gone.

You left.

I drank away my pain.

I smoked away my pain.

I fought away my pain.

The only thing seeming to work was the fighting.

It made me feel.

That's all I want.

To feel.

Even if it's just pain I feel.

At least it's better than feeling nothing at all.

Maybe it's my punishment.

For what I did.

With her.

The fighting beings me pain...

The pain drowns out the numbness...

I get what I deserve. Punishment.

It's a win-win situation.

- The boy who's numb.

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