I grasped under his hand.. I was kind of sure that I did not hear the right thing what Jongin had said.. I tried to smile as I was reluctant to show him that he startled me.. How can this guy possibly ask me to live together when today's literally the second day we're meeting?
"You know what, you really don't need to answer me right now" "How do you know you'll see me again once this night will pass ? How do you know there's possibly be another time to answer your impractical question ?"
Jongin pulled his face closer to me. I was thinking he's going to stop me with another kiss but he wasn't. He rested his forehead on mine and I finally realized this man was actually tired.. I wasn't sure what made him tired like this.. But something made my heart clenched like never.. His hand that was tightly holding on to me became tighter.. Though half of my body was covered with the blanket, I could still feel his cold touch..
"Jongin.. ?" "Don't disappear" His lips moved as if they were about to touch mine.. " You sound so hot when you talk under your breath ", I chuckled.. " Ira .. can we live together ?"
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I touched his face softly as if he would get hurt otherwise.. " Jongin.. I barely want to live ..How do you.." " And if I give you a reason.. ?" "To live ?" " To live .. and also, to love "
A reason that could make me want to live sounded so appealing as it was coming from him.. But I would sense that I looked sad even if I was just thinking of it.. How am I supposed to want a life that I am willing to live ?
How am I supposed to want a life that I am willing to love?
My hands were still cupping his face but I looked away.. I didn't want to cry.. I didn't want to let him know how much I was craving what he offered me willingly..
" it's okay .. you can cry .. it's okay ", he pulled me into a hug and suddenly I realized he had a smell like storm..
" you are treating me like I am a good , innocent girl who has no sins " , I mumbled as I continued to breath in his smell.. " I never wanted a good, innocent girl who has no sins, Ira "
Jongin stopped for a moment, running his slender finger through my hair , " Are you perhaps scared of love ?" " No , God , no .. Love already ruined me .. so you know you can not ruin me anymore, no matter how much you try ", I raised my face to look at his eyes..
He didn't take his eyes away from me. Before my all senses got dumb by his lips, I saw his sharp stare while he was saying , " You can ruin me .. I am taking the risk"
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
And when he started to touch every portion my skin, my senses deceived me as if this were my first time.. I felt what I never felt.. is this how you are supposed to feel when you get physical? No I was wrong .. He wasn't being physical, he was making love with me .. and so was I..
There was no hope for getting anything back from that moment.. I didn't try to get anything too ,I just wanted to forget my first love ..
