The Hit List: Justice for Asami

Conflicts And Burdens

"He beats me because..." Asami paused to inhale deeply. "Because I got my mother killed. Her death was all my fault."

Korra's eyebrows clenched and her eyes widened. She gave Lyla a worried look that she returned. Asami recognized the looks immediately- they thought Asami lost it.

"Asami..." Korra started.

"It's true." She insisted. "If it weren't for me, she would still be alive!"

"If that was true, you'd be in prison," her roommate spoke too.

"You don't understand," Asami said in frustration, shaking her head while burying it in her palms, "you don't understand..."

Korra stepped towards her, placing both hands on her shoulders and sitting her down. "Alright," she said, still holding her, "you want to tell me why you blame yourself for that?"

"Why it's my fault," Asami bitterly corrected.

"Asami..."

"I'm not crazy!" She snapped. "It's true! It's really what happened!"

"Sweetheart..." Korra sounded a bit hopeless. "Okay, tell me all about it."

Asami gulped audibly. She lowered her hands away from her face and placed them on her lap, watching them fidgeting nervously. "It's my fault..." she said in a small voice.

"Why?" Korra asked, her tone soft and compassionate.

"Because..." the words got stuck in her throat and she squinted her eyes shut. "When I was six and had my first day of school... my mom was supposed to pick me up from school... that's when she..." she stopped herself there, taking a deep breath as tears streamed out of her eyes. "She got into a car accident because of me, it's all my fault."

Silence lingered between the three, and Asami knew exactly why. Because Korra just realized she was dating a girl who killed her mother.

But then, Korra hugged her.

"You never told me this," she said quietly, "any of it."

"I was ashamed," Asami admitted.

"Of what?" Lyla said in disbelief. "Asami you can't truly believe this is your fault!"

"What?" Asami raised her head to look at Lyla. "Didn't you hear? Of course it's my fault!"

"No, it's not," Korra said, stroking Asami's hair, "did he tell you that it is?"

"He's right." Asami said miserably. "I thought he was wrong but he was right. I could've taken a bus-"

"You were six!" Lyla exclaimed.

"And even if you weren't, you still couldn't have known," Korra added, "she was in a car accident, those happen. It sucks, but they happen. I get why you feel guilty, because after losing someone everyone feels guilty, it's not the same thing at all but I know I did." Korra said with a weak smile. "But your dad blaming you for it is completely unjustified, and it's probably just him covering his own damn ass."

"You lost someone?" Lyla asked in confusion. "Who?"

For a moment, Korra looked away. Then turned back to face Asami, not bothering to look back while she answered her ex.

"Losing someone, doesn't necessarily mean they're dead." She said bitterly, and she didn't have to add anything else for Lyla to understand who she was referring too.