To the author of a most entertaining letter,
I regret to inform you that your gem of incandescent rancour ne'er reached its intended recipient. Nonetheless, I am certain such words would have struck terror into the craven heart of their victim. This fiasco of a messenger bird is to blame. He is either half blind or the very pinnacle of reckless ineptitude. The entirety of the firmament sprawled before the daft animal, and he dove directly into my eye.
Though I endured irritation and indignity alike, your bird suffered the vast brunt of the impact. Healing magic is hardly my specialty, and I seldom attend such trivial patients. Notwithstanding, your devotion to music inspires the sacred kinship that unites all musicians in transcendental harmony. Thus, from one artist to another, I offer this single kindness. Furthermore, your scathing prose proved a balm for the insufferable boredom of existence. How could I disregard an opportunity to correspond with the future sister of an aboleth?
Regarding your morbid curiosities, I should also like to recommend a suitable necromancer. You strike me as one inexperienced in the appraisal of such professionals, and the quality of reanimation you require demands some finesse. A lesser necromancer will render the corpse an undead drone, devoid of memory, or, worse, interested solely in slaughter. I imagine you desire the intact mind of your abhorred sibling and, additionally, to avoid slaughter. If you happen upon wealth, consider for the task Arres of Bansville—a stocky dragonborn bearing the sigil of a gyrfalcon. I have employed his services and can attest to his skill. However, I advise against relaying my approval to him lest you inflame an already swollen ego.
Moreover, I must express interest in your unorthodox string craft. In the past, I meddled with behir and tuskaloth gut for my octobass but have not, as of yet, processed matter from any sentient humanoid for musical purposes. Based on your fine penmanship and violin proficiency, I assume you are at least roughly humanoid. In the event of your boil-bottomed brother's return, do regale me with the proceedings. Should the resultant strings exceed the traditional catgut timbre, I may emulate your methods. That aside, I respect your daring to play the Pagarre Caprices. Their monstrous difficulty makes the aforementioned behir appear mild in comparison.
Sincerely,
A fellow musician
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*Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565 (Bach)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnuq9PXbywA
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