Give Me Love

1.

   "And the winner for best female artist of the year goes to...ZOEY NORTH!"

    Another award. Apart of the never ending collection of heavy trophies, and another fake ass award speech, where I thank everyone for putting me in the position im in today.

    I got up from my seat in the first row,straighted out my designer dress and made my way twoards the stage. I did the usual I just wanna thank god speech that every celebrity does, and walked off with a standing ovation in the background.

   Walking backstage was like entering a world of chaos. A bunch of celebrities looking untouchable and assistants running around frantically, yelling directors and prop guys trying put everything in it's place. I felt so overwhelmed and drained,  but I couldn't let people see that.

    I had my game face on, walking twoards the exit. I wasn't staying for the rest for the rest of the show. I got the award "I" wanted, so there was no reason for me to stay any longer around these fake people.

    I walked to the black truck awaiting me, surround by thousands of annoying paparazzi trying to get a story off of me. I hopped inside the truck and crawled my way into the seat, behind the driver, and told him to go back towards the hotel.

   Jessie my hair stylist handed me a congratulatory bottel of champagne. He went to hand me a glass from one of the trucks compartments but I already started chugging it down. I wanted to get faded, wasted, lifted,whatever. I just didn't need to be myself right now.

   The car ride was long, and I had drowned two bottles by myself. If I wasn't drunk by the first bottel I was definitely drunk now. I was drunk and sad. Shit. Sad wasn't even the right word. I feel broken, unloved, useless, hurt...

   And everybody made me feel this way. And the sad thing is, no one notices. I feel like im suffocating in the middle of the street, and everyone's just watching.

  

   The car suddenly stopped, and I got out and walked twoards the hotel, trying to block out all of the screaming fans and annoying flashing lights. I hear the elevator doors open, and with jessie my hairstylist and Jonnell my assistant atleast 15 feet behind me, I made a run for it.

   I got on the elevator and pressed the close button. Hearing Jessie and Jonnell screaming for me to hold the doors, I pressed it atleast ten more times until the door finally closed on them.

   I make it to the top floor, the pent house suite, and told the young security guard outside the door not to let anyone in after me. I walk into the hotel room and toss my jacket onto the white sofa. I look around the room and I see there's a bottle of Hennessey on the counter.  I grabbed it and popped open the top, and started walking to the balcony.

   Chugging the bottle down I swing my legs over the balcony and sit on the thin rail. Almost slipping I droped the bottel of Hennessey, cursing myself for being so clumsy,  I begin to rock my feet back and forth. My hands gripped the black rails tightly.  I looked down and saw the speeding cars, and the tiny little people.

   Feeling the liquid courage, to be doing what I have been longing to do for months. I let go.