The Second Time

PROLOGUE

March 17, 2014, 6:30 PM

Ashtin:

        Sorry talaga pero may pangako pa akong kailangang tuparin. Nagsawa na ako sa pag-intindi sayo at sa sitwasyon natin ngayon. hindi ko na maintindihan kung anong nangyayari sayo. Lagi ka na lang galit at paiba-iba ng mood.

...

Fibby:

        Please understand me naman, it doesn't have to be like this. I'm under a lot of pressure and it's not really easy. Malapit na ang finals namin. And then ngayon naman nagcocomplain ka sakin.

...

Ashtin:

        Hindi ako nagcocomplain. ang sinasabi ko lang, nagsasawa na ako sa ganito. Can't you take that in?

...

Naiinis na ako. Para sa'n ba 'tong usapan na'to? Is he trying to break up with me??

Fibby:

        Then what are you saying?

...

Ashtin:

        What I'm saying is that, we both need time.. and SPACE. To think of this.

...

So, nakikipagbreak nga sya? So, ganto pala ung feeling. Umupo ako sa sofa at inihagis ang phone ko sa tabi ko. I've been pacing the length of our living room the whole time na katext ko sya at yun ay simula pa nang makauwi ako sa bahay. Nag-iisip ako kung ano bang  dapat kong sabihin because I'm not really good at this. It's my first time and I don't know how to deal with this situation.

Fibby:

        So you're breaking up with me? Ganun ba?

...

Di sya nagrereply. I guess it's true. Nakikipaghiwalay nga sya.

Fibby:

        OK. If that's what you want. Madali naman akong kausap eh. Fine. You want to hear it from me? BREAK NA TAYO.

...

I typed furiously on my phone as I felt hot tears falling on my cheeks. I felt like the whole world turned dark and that I'm shattering into a million pieces. Nanginginig na yung kamay ko with so much pain, anger and disappointment. I tried not to sob. Ung kamay ko,  I think it's getting numb.

Fibby:

        Yeah, that's right. It's confirmed. Ayaw mo gawin, diba? Kasi masyado kang mabait diba para sabihin sakin. sana talaga ikaw na lang ang nagsabi. Oh, gusto mo sigurong palabasing ako yung nakipagbreak? OK lang yun. Now you could be together with her. Tama yung hinala ko. Haahahahahaha, matagal mo na sigurong hinihintay ang moment na 'to. Hahahahahaa, be happy ah, you're free now.

...

Ashtin:

        Andito na naman tayo sa trust issues mo? Sinabi ko na sayong friends lang kami diba? Inamin ko na sayo na crush ko sya dati at crush din nya ako. It wasn't the issue anymore. Ikaw 'tong walang tiwala.

...

Fibby:

        Dati, meron pang kaunti. Ngayon, wala na talaga. Wala naman na akong karapatan diba? We're over. And don't ever, ever talk nor text me!! Wag mo na din akong balikan. I don't need it. Nabuhay ako ng 17 years na hindi dependent sayo. Maybe I could live another 17 years not knowing you  or maybe as long as I live. Because right now, I'm wishing that I didn't know you AT ALL.

...

Nag-uunahan na talaga yung mga traydor kung luha sa pagpatak. Parang gusto kong sumabog. But I held my pride tightly.

Fibby:

        Delete my number and I'll do the same with yours. Wag ka na magreply after this message, please. Bye EXBOYFRIEND.

...

Ashtin:

        Umiiyak na ako ngayon. Reconsider naman. Wag ka padalos-dalos, masakit oh.

...

Fibby:

        Wow, the nerve to tell me that you're crying when I can't even see your tears. That was really gay, Ashtin. And what was that you're saying about pain again? Nasasaktan ka? I don't really believe you're capable of that. Hindi ako ang nagpauna kaya wag mo akong sisisihin dito. I just did what you want. Kaya kung meron mang mas nasasaktan sating dalawa, ako yun.

...

Ashtin:

        Bahala ka. Fibby naman oh? Fine, sige. Pero ikaw yung bumitaw, hindi ako.

...

Now I'm really puzzled. Nagkunwari akong di ko alam ang sinasabi nya, because right now, I'm brain dead. Di ako makapag-isip.

Fibby:

        Who are you? I don't think I know you. Stop texting me please.

And that, was my first heartbreak. I'm Phoebe Ae Emerald Geiss. Call me Fibby. 17. Taking up a masteral degree on MASOCHISM.