all about a girl

Chapter 21

After spilling my guts to my mother and the doctor the room was silent. The doctor left after jotting down a few words on my chart, again. I waited for my mother to get up and leave the room. I don't see the railing in the bed to sit up in bed. Once I was sitting up, which was more difficult than I cared to admit I swung my legs over the side of the hospital bed and slowly slid off the bed and onto my feet.

My feet were wobbly, unsteady as I applied my full weight to them. Clutching onto hand holds on the wall I walked to the door and flipped the switch underneath the handle. Effectively, locking my mother and everyone out of my hospital room. I then using the handholds I made it back to my bed without falling flat on my ass. I turned to the bed side table and riffled through the draw looking for a pen or a pad of paper. There was a pen, I pressed the button on the making the plastic insert inside drop down and the ball point on the pen visible. I continued to search around the draw for a pad or a sheet of paper, unfortunately there was no paper in sight.

I continued to click the pen thinking. Do I go back to school? Do I act like every thing is fine even though I'm not? What do I want? What am I going to do? I was pulled from my thoughts by three sharp knocks. I didn't make a sound and I didn't move either. Eventually, whoever it was reached out and pull the handle down.
"Bang!"

The person outside tried to push the door open finding the door locked. I could hear talking outside the door unfortunately it was too quiet to hear who was at the door.

The voice outside the door said, "hey, it's me. It's col and my sister lyn can you let us in?"

I didn't want to see col he just stood there he did nothing even though I knew one word from him and they would have backed off. His sister wasn't there but he was. And I do blame him for not doing anything to stop this. Eventually, it became quiet out side I thought they went away. I went back to thinking about what I wanted to do. If I couldn't face him now how could I face him five days a week? If I couldn't face someone that did nothing how could I face the people that actually did something?

I couldn't act like everything was fine because it wasn't. And I shouldn't have to act like i am unbreakable when I am. I definitely don't want to go back to school. There was more knocks at the door. I didn't answer the knocks once again and I could hear yelling this time. My parents.

They were telling the hospital janitors to unlock the door or break it down if they have to.
Seeing, as their daughter had been severely wounded and couldn't even sit up by herself they were yelling at the janitors saying that they need to check the locks as they may be faulty or something. If I were the janitors I would have called the cops and kicked us out of the hospital by now.

It took all of five minutes but I was beyond surprised that when the door swing open both my parents were standing there and not being escorted out of the hospital by police. When my parents walked into my room they were cooing and fussing over me like I was some kind of new born baby.

Col on the other hand realised I must have been too crowded and with one look my parents looked at each other. They both rushed out in a huff. They looked like they were trying to fight some unknown force, that was forcing them out the door. but they are fighting. I then watched as they walked out the door finally. Col however stayed put, until they finally took the last step out the door. He then walked towards the door closing his hand over the handle, tugging it closed. He then turns towards me, he looks at me for a solid minute before walking towards me.

I stared at him blankly. I can't begin to imagine, the leverage, power he holds over people. especially if he could make my parents leave when they really did not want to. he comes closer and closer to my hospital bed. as he comes to a stop at my bed I have squashed myself against the sides of the hospital gurney.

He starts, "I know it brings little comfort, but I am here if you need anything. I mean it, I really do."

I want to scream, but that wouldn't change anything. so I stayed quiet, looking into his face I can see the hurt and the anguish. I know it hurts him that I refuse to talk, but I have nothing to stay. he continues to talk and I zone out, blocking him out completely. I start thinking about all the decisions I have to make in the next few days. about school, about my family and about what Col could be holding over peoples heads.

I think back to when I was suspended. My two biggest nemesis' came to my house without my knowledge, they stood in line to apologise. something about me being superior to them sooner or later. I shake my head ridding the memories of the past from thinking of the conversation we just had. I cant just trust that he will always be there to look out for me.

eventually, he realises I won't be talking and just sits there watching me. Once the nurse comes in and kicks him out and my parents come in. once my mom sits down i decide its time to tell them my decision.

I start, "Mom, Dad... I have something to tell you..."