Y/n and the potions professor - in progress

2. The thunderstorm

A/N: Here's chapter 2! I tried to focus more on Sev's backstory, because I thought it might add some depth to the story. Thank you for all the lovely comments on the last chapter! You are all great. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Pairings: None
Warnings: Not eating, implied abuse

Severus visited Y/n in the hospital wing later that day once he'd finished grading papers. He entered and briefly spoke to Madam Pompfrey before going to find her. Upon seeing her sleeping in a bed, his heart ached with guilt, even though the color had returned to her cheeks, and her skin looked a much healthier color. Her eyes fluttered open when he entered.
He sat down opposite her awkwardly. "Oh, sorry Y/n, I didn't mean to wake you." He said. She looked away. "It's ok, Professor. I don't mind."
He smiled slightly, the usual coldness of his face softening. "How are you feeling?"
He couldn't bear to face the fact this was his fault.
"Ok." Came her reply.
He nodded. "I bet you're hungry, it is past dinner."
She shook her head. "No, that's ok."
He tried to show his kind intentions in his eyes. "What is it? You can talk to me."
"I'm just not hungry." She said, but there was a defiant edge to her voice as she spoke.
He noticed she never ate much during mealtimes, but to be honest he didn't pay too much attention. He sighed. Skipping one meal wouldn't do her too much harm. She'd been through a lot that day. "Very well." He wanted more than anything for her to know how much he cared. He'd realised after he saw her lying there in the snow that she wasn't the happy carefree girl she appeared to be, and that she had her own demons to fight. And he was determined to help her. As a head of house, it was his duty.
"Madam Pompfrey said you can go back to your dorm now. I could walk you there if you'd like?" He smiled.
"Okay professor." She managed a small smile back. A few minutes later they left. She walked beside him and they made light conversation until they arrived at her dorm. She shared the dorm with two other Slytherin girls; Maia and lois. She went inside and he left. But the minutes felt like hours as he walked through the castle and to his quarters. He had previously planned to brew some potions in advance of a potions class he was teaching the next day, but decided it needn't be done after all and retreated straight to his quarters.

That night he lit a fire in the hearth as he felt a thunderstorm starting. He'd gotten pretty good at predicting them over the years. They brought him both comfort and pain, giving him flashbacks to his childhood. He always thought of one particular night.

He hid, his small body shaking and his breathing shallow as he was cramped against the cupboard. He saw nothing but darkness and kept as quiet as he could. He heard his father's thundering footsteps, like nails against mahogany. And he heard the crash of thunder against the house. And he heard his mother's voice, followed by his father's, and shouting and swearing, but not a word about him. Not a word about where their seven-year-old son had disappeared off to. His father didn't care. This he was sure of. But mother on the other hand, he was sure had some Sympathy. But she did nothing. Then he heard the sound of doors slamming, his father's footsteps getting closer and closer. He tried to sound silent as possible. He just wanted to disappear. Become invisible.

He never wanted any child to feel that way. That was the real reason he became a teacher. Especially head of Slytherin, he was used to seeing abused and damaged children. The house had such a reputation but for some it was the only home they'd ever known. He was determined to protect and nurture those children. Those who needed him most.

He watched as raindrops danced across the glass of the window. He wanted to feel the rain on his skin.
"Alohomora!" He opened the window and climbed onto the roof. It was crazy and perhaps the most uncharacteristic thing Severus Snape had ever done. But then again it was just like him. He sat there as the rain poured down, his cloak billowing behind him in the bitter wind. He felt the rain against his skin, and it was the most wondrous thing. He sat there for hours, until the sky was dark and the bright moon had come to illuminate the night.
He didn't know what time he fell asleep. But when he woke the next morning, remembering he was on the roof and all, he did feel quite a mess and quite a fool, for now that feeling of spontaneous joy had vanished, leaving only emptiness and stupidity. He quickly composed himself and entered his quarters through the open window. He had foolishly left it open, so his things by the window were perfectly ruined.
He changed out of his wet clothes and quickly rushed to his first class. He had a group of 7th year Gryffindors; he couldn't think of anything worse. But he managed to get through it. By the time lunchtime came, he realised haven't seen Y/n all day. He went to the great hall where sure enough she was sat with her peers at the Slytherin table. He watched her discreetly from his seat at the teachers table, whilst sipping a hot coffee. As the amber liquid warmed his whole body he watched as she didn't touch her food. He had no doubt about it that she did not eat at breakfast either. And he'd let her skip dinner last night. He was growing increasingly concerned.
Once lunch concluded, he watched the other students file out of The Great Hall and pulled her aside.
"Y/n, how are you feeling?" He asked.
"Fine." She nodded. "I really must go Professor, I have divination with professor Mcgonagall next." She said in a flustered ramble.
"I will write you a pass. Come with me please." Severus gestured for her to follow him. They walked to his quarters, him taking a seat opposite her at the small oaken table in the room. He lit a fire once again, blatantly aware of her condition yesterday.

He didn't know how to start the conversation. There were many things he wanted to say. He wanted to ask her why she had not eaten, or about her panic attack yesterday, amongst other things. But he knew from past experiences he should handle this situation lightly and with care. So naturally, that was what he did. He made light conversation till it landed on the subject of dinner.
"I noticed you weren't eating at lunch today. Why might that be? I also know you did not eat last night or this morning."
She shuffled uncomfortably on her chair. "Oh really Professor, I'm just not hungry."
But he wasn't buying this for the third time. "I'm not sure I quite believe you. The food.
Was that it? Do you not like it? I can get the house elves to make you something else. Is there anything in particular you'd like?"
"That's okay sir, really." She tried.
"I'm afraid it is not. I'd like you to eat something please, your not taking care of yourself.
Now, what can I get you? Soup, sandwiches, or any other meal."
She sighed. "I'll have soup then I guess."
"Wonderful." He said, summoning a house elf and ordering her a bowl of pumpkin soup and some bread, along with a cup of green tea.
The house elves brought it to them a little while later and he encouraged her whilst she ate. "See, that wasn't so bad." He said.
"No, it wasn't." She agreed. 'I'm sorry". She said, "I'm just not used to it." But she stopped dead in her tracks, realising she'd said too much. All the questions Severus had about her home life that he'd never asked swam around his mind. He'd never enquired into her home life and now he was questioning his judgement. But no, surely not under his very nose. But maybe that was just the case. "Y/n", he asked, "What are you talking about?"