A Ramille Story

Chapter 420.69

We are all at the grocery store, the whole group. Harry and Draco are being disgustingly domestic as they argue about which lethal axe they want to bring home as a toy for their dog baby. The dance had happened, a few weeks back, so everyone had paired up then, and were buying each other bananas in the dairy aisle for St. Patrick's Day. I had asked Camille out, and she had said of course. Who could resist this superior ultra male charm. It's the deodorant and colourful snails.

I had looked dashing in my grandmother's old robes, and Camille was, dare I say it, the belle of the ball, dressed in dolphin skins. It's the newest fashion.

We returned to the school to see Snape yelling at some students for whittling wood in the parking lot. I think he was trying to be secretive about it, but with his bright green robes and huge tap shoes, he was making a scene. Even Dumbledore had left his curling match with Professor Sprout and Lee Johnson to see what was happening. As we got closer to the fray, I saw Dean and Seamus sneaking off. I ran to catch up to them.

"Hey, DeDe and ShayShay, where y'all headed to?"

"Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light." Answered Dean.

Seamus sucker punched me in the elbow and they ran off singing,

"There one was a ship that was put to sea, and the name of the ship was A Billy of Tea."

I left them with their sea shanties and returned to the group to find Draco proposing to Ginny.

"Ginevra Molly Weasly, will you make me the most unfortunately glassy tree on this holy planet of the apes and become my wife?"

People started clapping and clapping and Draco proposed and people were clapping and clapping and clapping and clapping and clapping and clapping. Luna threw scrunchies into the air and everyone clapped.

Later in the castle we were having an epic wizard chess battle.

I screamed UNO while throwing the golf putt across the floor. Ginny smiled while eating fruit. Harry was getting his arse beat by Draco who was singing fergalicious while dancing on a pole.

Dean and Seamus were making shepherd's pie in the oven. Hermione galloped up to me.

"Are you going to ask Camille to the ball?"

"Yea, but I'm not sure if she is going with someone else."

"I heard her talking to Harry about it, you should ask him."

"Oh, ok thanks."

I turned around to ask Harry, but I saw him and Draco making out furiously while swimming in the pool. The balloons had all deflated by this point, and were making "eeEEeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEEE." noises as they whooshed around the room. Luna came in to mention that she was eloping with Ginny off to Spain to be the leader of an anarchist movement.

Snape fell through the ceiling, muttering something about "blasted newts", apparently he had met Debby Ryan the other day and she had vomited newts because she found Snape's stench so deplorable.

If only Snape had my deodorant, he could get all the girls. That reminds me, this video is sponsored by "Manly Masculine, Mature, Matronly Deodorant" never have girls, or guys, or nonbinary pals be repulsed by your repulsive stink every again! Also Grammarly will help you and don't forget to do your Duolingo or the owl will murder you in your sleep thats what happened to my family HELP the owl is holding me hostage.

This still didn't help, as it was the night of the ball and I still didn't know if Camille had a date. We had gotten closer after that awkward moment of waking up in the same bed, but I still wasn't sure what my standing was with her. I sat down to think about what I was going to say when Seamus came up to me.