Rigby

Chapter 4

Being present with Jacob was when I'd get in trouble. As I looked into his gray eyes, they drew me to him. A voice from within me screamed 'oh shit' as our eyes locked.

"Your friends are playing this Thursday if you would like to come, but it will be quite crowded. You may find you are more comfortable if you were to come to their rehearsal tonight." Jacob spoke of Matt and Joey as though they were mutual friends. It would've been comical if it wasn't so unsettling.

But I was too lost in his words, the even tone and calm cadence, to think about it. It was as though he had practiced the offer, but I knew better. Jacob was in control of everything around him; it was the only way he could live so recklessly.

"You suddenly care if I'm comfortable?" I was still astonished at how off-put I could sound, even as I found my head scrambled from his magnetism. It must have been my years of acidic behavior.

"Did I ever give the impression that I had a disregard for your comfort?"

"Yes!" There was no hesitation in my response. It arrived so quickly and with so much certainty that, for once, Jacob's emotionless expression cracked, but only for the briefest of winces.

"I apologize for any perceived indifference." He slightly bowed his head to feign humbleness.

"Perceived indifference? Are you fucking kidding me? You tried to rip apart my life for the sport after one meeting for reasons I can't even begin to imagine."

"Rip apart your life? I believe we can both agree you're acting a tad dramatic."

"No, we cannot agree, but perhaps we can agree that you're insufferable," I offered as I stared straight into his eyes.

I was determined not to get sucked into them. I'd dive fully in, swim around a bit even, but I wouldn't get stuck there. Instead, I let my mind replay that night at Rigby to seal my resolve.

The boys and I had been in the living room for a half-hour with no appearance from Jacob. No one was surprised, given what Jess had interrupted. Matt and Jess seemed to become fast friends as they traded barbs over some gruesome video game of death and gore.

"This is a ghastly game," Jackson softly spoke. I suspected it was deliberate, so he had an excuse to lean in closer to me.

"Aren't they all?" I muttered, primarily to myself.

"How long have you worked at the record store?" He continued to search for an avenue to engage me.

"Four years, but until this summer, I was just seasonal when I was on break from college."

"Oh, so you have already graduated?"

"Yeah, Matt, Joey, and I all graduated last Spring but took a lost year before diving into the full boredom of adulthood." I gave him a cheeky smile.

It seemed odd that I was among the college set in Boston only a few months prior, suffering through the waning moments of my senior year. Most of the people I had graduated with had already run screaming into careers in Boston or New York. It surprised many when I opted to return to Portland, Maine. I spent enough time in Boston to know that the claustrophobia of a city wasn't for me. I liked my little salt-stained town and my two best friends. Matt and Joey had also returned to fall into the official rank of townies for a year. The three of us received job offers in Boston, New York, and Hartford but deferred. After sixteen years of formal education, we were ready for a bit of freedom, one small slice of unplanned life. My father quickly agreed with my plan of a lost year and even had hints of pride and envy in his eyes. Matt's parents took it the hardest, and I had the distinct impression that they blamed me for their only child's budding delinquency. If only they knew the long list of frowned-upon activities Matt had participated in during our friendship.