[] Open [🌻]Closed []Judging
In The Sunflower Awards 3.0, a genre-based awards with 14 genres and prizes for the top 3 in each genre, all people and genres are welcome! Everyone will receive feedback, no matter their place. Results expected between...
Time for the results! Without further ado, here they are for Chicklit! Thank you, tasya_wayer , for your hard work in these awards. Contestants, please check out their shout-out chapter—it has their username in the chapter title—if you haven't done so already. They deserve some appreciation :).
If you did not win, meaning you are not in this chapter, we will PM you ASAP with your results. If you do not receive your results, you were probably disqualified, but give us some time to send results.
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Genre Results
🌻Third Place🌻
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Username - -impulse Book Title - The Sweetest Decisions Score - 91/100 Review -
The cover, title and blurb come together in this alluring way. With those, any reader will be drawn to your work. I love them.
Though the plot in itself is generic, and I'm not sure if there's a deeper theme you're trying to explore with it, I was still invested in the story, thanks to Madison's characterization. She's a sprightly young thing, who I find hard to believe is twenty-one. Madison reminds me of Dani from The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning. Nevertheless, I believe she is set up perfectly for character development. Especially with James Knightly at her side.
Their relationship dynamic is what I enjoyed most about your story. It's natural and effective in building their characterization. I couldn't ask for more.
Given Madison's personality, the book would've been better written in first person. That way, your first chapter won't look unnervingly fast-paced, as it's majorly Madison's speed-of-light thoughts penned down.
There was a major issue of headhopping with the pov you did use, though. It's another reason why first person would've been better. In chapter one, in a particular scene, you move from Madison's headspace to her father's, then back. That kind of thing can confuse a reader. I suggest you stick to one character's thoughts throughout an entire scene/chapter, just like you stuck to Madison's dad's throughout the first scene of Chapter 4.
Stephen King did say the road to hell is paved with adverbs. I'd add majorly "ly" adverbs. You used a lot of those with your already "exotic" dialogue tags (tags that aren't "he said/asked/replied") eg "sneered acidly" in chapter 2, among others. I suggest you take them out, as they not only weaken your writing, but are also repetitive. Most things you wrote are redundant as well, because of your unspoken urge to overexplain things to your readers. (Ref: Chapter 18, where you wrote, "disorganized mess").
I didn't see many grammatical errors. Just some misspellings like "unphased", instead of "unfazed". The rest can be easily edited.
I like your work, but is there a message bigger than the plot? A profound central theme? Or is it simply a love story?
