The Experiment (Attack on Titan // LeviHan) (Part 1)

Not a Wedding Night

For someone decidedly and deliberately unromantic like Levi, a path made from fake rose petals, illuminated by red candles to the left and right - imagine the stupid expense! - was worth only one thing: snide remarks.

But somehow... On this night that was already turning into an underground morning, despite the cheesiness of this extravaganza, Levi felt the strangest of sensations. It was highly unsettling. A tight, choking feeling in his throat, an almost painful fluttering in the region of his heart. As they made their way up the stairs slowly, he put a shaking hand on his chest, worried that something was wrong with him.

Yes, he realized. Clearly, something was wrong with him.

It had to do with Hanji. Hanji, a little flushed, a little drunk, disheveled from hopping around with him half the night like a crazed rabbit, bright eyed and laughing. She looked so so... happy... so soft in the light of the candles. Hanji who threw him gentle looks from the side that made him... made him... fuck this.

Levi looked away from her glowing face with an effort, swallowing compulsively. His stomach was aflutter, it felt as if evil bugs had gotten in and were dancing their own jig.

Damn it all to hell.

"How nice of them," Hanji said, pointing at a heart shaped arrangement of candles on the first landing. Her voice was deep and resonant and shaking just a little, providing the music for his gut bugs to dance even faster. His mouth wanted to say things like "No, you are nice", an awfully embarrassing string of words which he managed to stop from escaping his lips. And then regretted not saying.

Maybe he should run. But - he didn't want to. He wanted to continue walking up the slanting stairs with her, feeling the pressure of her warm hand in his. He wanted to see her look this happy, he wanted to breathe in this Hanji smell of sunshine and freedom, forever. He wanted this to be the beginning of more rather than the end of something that wasn't theirs to have.

It hurt because it wasn't a beginning. Because however foolish he felt right now, he wasn't the type of idiot to dream pointless dreams.

"Awwww," she cooed when they reached the room that had been readied for them. Mirrors and lights everywhere, a clean, fresh smell, very unusual for the underground. A bed and a large bathtub, full of steaming hot water. With pink bubbles.

Levi wasn't used to speechlessness. But this generosity, this grand gesture from people who had nothing, it robbed him of words.

Maybe I'm going to cry, he realized, the tight feeling getting almost overwhelming. Everything felt unstable. Most of all his knees.

"Do you want to bathe together?" Hanji asked, sounding a little shy as she glanced at the bathtub.

Why did she sound shy, dammit. He was coming undone inside at the speed of a ball of yarn dropped to the floor. Hanji shy? His heart was going to explode.

He managed a nod.

Hanji pulled out the book he had given her from underneath her blouse and put it on the bed, gingerly, as if it could break. It was a book about plants. He couldn't for the life of him understand how one could get so excited over a stinky old book, but yeah, Hanji wasn't like other people, so... Already, he was planning to get her more books of this sort if they meant so much to her. There were a few traders in the underground he knew to approach. The money for it... well. He had saved his wages this last few months, since he had nothing to spend them on anyway.

After tenderly stroking the worn cover with her fingertips, Hanji turned around and smiled at him bashfully.

"Can I undress you?"