The Party

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"Here, Captain Midget," Zoë Hange slammed a large ceramic tankard filled to the rim with foaming liquid in front of the brooding figure at the back of the tavern, "it's on me."

Whack it went when pottery met wood with force and pshhh when the brownish concoction sloshed over, forming a small puddle on the well-worn surface of the table.

Levi pressed his lips together in disgust. Smelled like piss. Looked like it too.

"Go back to where you came from," he grumbled and folded his arms in a dismissive gesture - but squad leader Hange had already slipped onto the bench next to him and peered at his face up close. He pulled his head back abruptly but she just leaned in further.

Her breath smelled like she had eaten horse dung, her hair was a horrible mess and her skin glistened from sweat and grime. She was uncleanliness personified, knew how to torment him like nobody else and loved every second of it.

"Were you smiling up at the ceiling like a lunatic five minutes ago?"

"What?!"

"Thought so," she nodded slowly, still peering at his face through her dirty glasses. "But Moblit insisted he saw it. You scared him."

Fucking morons of the Fourth Squad. Gritting his teeth, Levi turned his head to find them in the unruly crowd. There, in the corner, throwing furtive glances in his direction. He still felt like ripping their heads off for the mistake they had made three days ago. But that would mean touching them and that... he shuddered. They all looked like they had rolled in grease and then in dirt. Maybe they had. They were the type, just like their leader.

He shuddered again, this time more violently.

"Are you cold?" Hange asked, managing to sound concerned. She began to fumble for his cape but he slapped her hands away. Hange wasn't concerned, she was just well on the way to getting spectacularly drunk, which did not bode well for this place. There had been a famous incident about two years ago when Zoë had tested the explosive qualities of different mixtures of alcohol as part of a dare. In a closed building. What a fucking mess.

"Drink something," she smiled lopsided and a little cross-eyed, "you'll be warm in no time. And eat more. Maybe you'll have a sudden growth spurt?"

They had been served some meat tonight, in celebration of Commander Erwin's birthday. If anyone doubted that humans were not that different from beasts, you just had to watch them fight over scraps of the rare treat. Levi would rather go hungry than to lower himself to that level.

He just wanted to turn back to Hange to make a snide remark about her shockingly base behavior when his eyes caught those of a pretty, blonde girl who was staring at him from across the room. She looked startled to be discovered looking - but pulled herself together and sauntered over with determination, hips in the colorful dress swaying seductively. Levi groaned inwardly.

"Oh," Hange giggled, not drunk enough not to notice, "someone else has taken pity on your poor, affection-starved soul. She looks very warm, look at those breasts... be careful not to get squashed!"

"Hi!" the girl smiled shyly, barely loud enough to be heard over the overall din of rowdily celebrating soldiers, revealing slightly crooked but clean teeth in a heart-shaped face. "May I sit?"

"No," Levi snapped, refusing to look at the plump bosom pushed up by a corset for ultimate effect. Tch, as if he were that easily manipulated.

"Yes," Zoë beamed at the exact same time. "I was just leaving. Bye, Grumpy! Erwin will be cross with you if you keep that sour face all through his grand party."

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