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"I am broken"
꧁𓊈𒆜🅲🅷🅰🅿🆃🅴🆁 🅾🅽🅴𒆜𓊉꧂
A few months ago
You are just a mistake
Worthless fag
A little piece of shit
A disgusting slut
I am ashamed to have you as my son
You are useless and worthless
You are nothing but a fucking twink
Taehyung woke up breathing heavily. The room was peaceful and the only sound that filled the room was his little brother's soft snores. He looked back at his brother to find him sleeping peacefully. He sighed in relief and slowly got up from his chair, not before switching off the small lamp on his desk and closing his books, in order to be as silent as he could so that he doesn't disturb his brother's sleep. He checked his phone to check the time and it was 3:30 in the morning.
So I slept for one hour. Great
He slowly headed towards his kitchen. He filled his cup with some water and sat on a small almost broken stool and drank the water in one breath. He also realized that he was sweating. He sat there with his eyes closed and felt relaxed due to the darkness around him. Most other people found peace in light but he found comfort in darkness. Darkness was his only friend. He found peace in darkness. Darkness was always there for him. Darkness was his safe place as he doesn't need to pretend that he is happy when he is not.
He was a strong boy. He never cried. The last time when he cried it was four years ago when he was 14. He cried because he lost his grandmother. The only person who made him feel warm. The only person who taught him how to be strong and able to protect himself as well as his brother. He knew that if his grandmother didn't encourage him, he would have broken till now. He would have gave up.
Why can't I just forget these words
He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth in annoyance. He closed his eyes to calm his anger down and unconsciously a groan due to annoyance left his mouth. He quickly got up to check on his brother and found he was still in deep sleep. He sighed and went to the kitchen again after picking up his phone from the room. He checked the time and it was 3:50 already. He placed his phone on the kitchen counter and started preparing coffee for himself.
He grabbed some instant coffee powder from the shelf of his kitchen and started to prepare his coffee. Taehyung likes to make his coffee using milk as it less bitter. He filled a cup with milk and put it in the microwave to heat it up. He took his coffee mug and added one and a half tablespoon of coffee and added one tablespoon of sugar and a tablespoon of milk. Then he whisked the mixture, thoughts still lingering around how he will manage everything. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of microwave turning off. He removed the cup out of the microwave. [A/n: don't judge me, this is how I like to make my coffee ;)]
He sighed and poured the hot milk in the cup which had the whisked light brown and creamy coffee. Even though he didn't like the bitter taste of the coffee, he thought coffees are really good way to start the day. He likes tea but it doesn't make him feel as refreshed as coffee does. The boy sat on the stool in his kitchen and closed his eyes to enjoy his coffee. As the bitter taste of coffee filled his mouth, the boy couldn't help but think about how he is lagging behind in his studies.
Taehyung is the topper of his university. He is really intelligent and good in his studies. The boy managed to gain this position even though he barely has time to study after his part time jobs. The only time he gets to study is either in his university or at night. It was difficult to study at night cause the small lamp on his desk barely provided any light for studying.
Taehyung knew that it's not good to study at night using such a small lamp which barely provided him vision to see the words in his textbook but did he care about his eyes, probably not. As long as the little amount of light fell on his book and as long as he could read even though he needed to struggle to see, he was fine. Atleast the light was full enough to let his brother sleep. And he didn't have enough money to pay for bright light for himself.
But everytime he saw his brother studying in the brighter light, he couldn't help but feel satisfied that he could provide his brother with a brighter light. It's okay to him as long as he can provide his brother with everything he needs. He is fine. He stood up from his stool and then washed his mug along with the cup he used to warm up the milk as silently as he could so that he doesn't wake his brother up. Then he grabbed his towel and went to take a bath.
After taking the bath he pulled out one of the four outfits he owned from his closet and wore it. It was a loose grey hoodie and black trousers and he picked up a bag and swung it on his shoulder. Then he grabbed his phone to check the time and it was 4:15. Then he shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed the keys of the small, shabby apartment he could afford along with his wallet and exited the house to deliver milk and newspaper.
Delivering milk and newspaper early in the morning was one of the many part time jobs he did. Once he was out of his apartment, he thought of checking his wallet. His wallet was almost empty with a few coins in it. He sighed again.
Guess today I won't be able to buy my lunch again.
