"Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
No, I'm not okay, I just found out a friend overdosed this weekend, they didn't die, but they easily could have. I'm not okay, I question myself if I'm really worthy as a friend. I never knew they were so close to the edge, I never knew they wanted to escape.
It kills me inside...
Another friend ran away from home because they were being abused. Another got in trouble because they helped him.
What did I do?
It seems like nothing now, they tell me I helped them get through, but I can't help but feel I did nothing.
All those problems I vented about seem to be nothing now compared to their's. My problems mean nothing, my happiness and well being mean nothing, my insecurities mean nothing. They mean nothing compared to what's going on with them.
I feel bad for feeling nervous for a job interview when my friend was breaking inside because of an argument between our friend group.
I didn't deserve the long hug that my boyfriend gave me. They did, not me. What was I going through? Feeling nervous for a job interview, what a load of crap. I shouldn't of felt nervous, especially after when I got hired on the spot.
My friend got everything taken from them. I feel bad if I simply pull out my phone around them, so I don't.
See, these thoughts I have in comparison to all my friends problems are nothing. My thoughts, my insecurities are nothing.
I stay too strong, I don't allow myself to vent in thoughts that it means nothing compared to what's going on with them. They shouldn't have to be the ones to help me through my nothing problems- I should be helping them!
"I'm just a stepping stone to people and I'm fine with it, as long as they're happy and they stay, I'll gladly be their stepping stone."
~ Rafoxcoon (me) 2021~~~~
🌸 Hiya! This has been from a prompt I found today. This is the same girl who I wrote about the last chapter- I might just have to make her a new OC :D
~ March 2nd 2021~
YOU ARE READING
It All Started with a Dream
AcakSome things start off as a thought and overtime it becomes something more, something much bigger. It becomes a dream. Now with this new found dream, you must be be the one to decide whether it's meant to stay just a dream or if it's to become a real...