This Is Not A Test

Chapter 5: The Over-Sexualization of Women & The Concept of Virginity

 I think many of us are aware of the Bible's treatment of women. As the Bible seems to portray: women are best when they're silent, serving a man, and covered from neck to ankle. That way they don't disturb men and their busy lives, of course. I forgot to mention that women are also best when they are submitting to men's wills and having as many children as they can, with their husband, naturally.

Part of me likes to think that this is because men are so terrified of how powerful women are: after all, Adam ate the forbidden fruit because his naked wife compelled him to. Who could say no to that? Apparently not a strong, independent man. As you may be able to tell, I make these comments sarcastically. Except the fact that women have quite a lot of power over men that they like to hide. I mean, if the sight of a woman's ankles truly makes you lose control of yourself, that really is quite a lot of power.

Women in the Bible aren't usually the heroes of the story, mainly because they weren't allowed to do much outside the home. But God was clear about his desire to keep them covered and quiet. On more than one occasion, the ideal of being meek, quiet, and modestly dressed is emphasized.

My question in all this is simple: why? Why did God feel the need to create a power-dynamic between men and women when they actually function better when working together in mutual agreement? Why the need for submission? The humorous side of me likes to think that this part of the religion was created by someone who absolutely loved practicing BDSM and thought that everyone else should too. The Bible emphasizes submission more than anything I've ever seen though. And for what reason? It almost always benefits men and ignores women's opinions.

Because of the power dynamic given between man and woman in the Bible, God also emphasized the importance of virginity. It's simple in the scripture: being a virgin is the best thing you can be as a woman, and losing your virginity, especially if you were unmarried (granted, this even included rape cases, which is not losing your virginity, it's assault) made you dirty and used. Quite literally. 

The sad thing is, because of this deep-rooted ideology, people lived this way for centuries in many parts of the world. The concept of virginity and its importance still shadows our modern culture of women. As a man, if you choose to have sex with multiple women, you're praised by your friends and no one else cares. As a woman, if you choose to have sex with multiple men, your friends may warn you against it, and strangers or family members may criticize you for being young and impulsive. Do you see the double standard?

In short: humans aren't rags. Women aren't rags to be any more pure or dirty than the next one. You are a human being, with inherent worth just for being alive.

Since my leave from Christianity, some who still follow the religion have questioned how I could possibly live a happy life. In truth: because I don't feel guilty about every little choice and difficulty in life. Christianity puts so much pressure on an individual to make sure everything is in check. It leaves no room for error. And when Christians have an error, many times they are pressured to feel guilty about it. In reality, that's what life is: experiencing new things, making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. There's no need to create this overwhelming pressure every time something goes wrong. I can go to sleep at night knowing that I don't need to be impressing others all the time. I can have peace in the unknown. Because, in truth, I don't have all the answers.

So, to close this out, I believe there is a deity, maybe more than one, over this universe. What the deity is and what he wants, I don't know. But as long as I'm treating others well and learning from my experiences, I know I can keep going with confidence.