Bluebird~l.s.- A's Ending

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*TRIGGER WARNING*
SELF HARM

I got up from the cramped stairs and head to the shared bedroom. I closed the door and walked over to my closet taking out a light purple short sleeve.
I took off the shirt I was wearing and tossed it to the side. I thought I heard the door open but that was probably just my imagination.
It wasn't until Lou walked over to me and put his chin on my shoulder that I noticed his presence. "What'ya doing Haz?"
I froze, my whole body heating up, "H-hey Lou, I was just changing m-my shirt," he wrapped his arms around my waist hugging me tightly.
"I'm glad your my friend, Harry, really" He said turning me around to face him. His ice blue eyes moved from my face to the ground back to my face, blushing a bit with a shy smile.
"Also, didn't I tell you you could wear that? Your one of the few that can..." He trailed off at the end seeming embarrassed.

Louis' pov
I walked over to my bunk cursing at myself for saying that stupid shit. 'Oh you can wear that' fucking idiot.
I swear to god he probably already knows I'm gay, ugh, he's probably homophobic too...No, don't think like that he's the most perfect human being he couldn't be, he's Harry fucking Styles.
But then again there was always the chance that he was. I mean c'mon liking me was impossible let alone loving me. I was just the happy little lad and that's who I had to be. Louis Tomlinson the short lad thats always chaotic, funny, bubbly, if I acted like anyone else management would be down my throat about "publicity" and all that shit.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Liam saying "You there, bud?" I looked up at him anger spreading across my face but I made sure to wipe it off before he could tell. I even faked for the boys out of respect. Especially Harry, I wouldn't want to hurt him especially after what happened last night, I had never seen him like that, he looked so broken in my arms and I never wanted to let go until all his pain melted away. That's all I ever wanted for him...
"LOUIS!" Liam snapped at me "C'mon Louis your eyes just keep glazing over and your acting like your in a different reality if you didn't know we have shit to do if you don't want to you shouldn't have auditioned," I felt my blood boil, he doesn't have a clue what goes through my mind, the audacity he was telling me I shouldn't have auditioned that was it I try not to snap at them but he deserved it at this point.
"Liam, can you shut the fuck up for once?" I felt a small pang of guilt but I keep telling myself he deserved it. I saw the shock flow accross his face...he deserves it, he deserves it, he deserves it. That's what I told myself, I knew he didn't, but I had to tell myself that to justify the shit I just pulled.

Harry's pov

I couldn't believe what he said to Liam, why would he say that? I had never seen that side of him before. They don't hate each other do they? Do they hate...me?
"Louis, what the hell?!" Liam retorted.
"You always tell me what to do and I'm sick of it!" Louis shot back. I felt tears sting the back of my eyes. Why was he so angry all of a sudden? Was it because I was wearing his shirt?
"I'm not telling you what to do, it's your job now dipshit!" Liam scolded.
"He not a dipshit..." I whispered too quiet for anyone to hear.
"Maybe, I don't care!" Louis huffed at Liam
"Yeah, well maybe I don't care about you!" Liam finally said causing a thick tension to fill the room. 'he's taking to you' the voice rang through my ears "no he wasn't..." I whispered. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks so I wipped them off and ran out of the room. I heard Louis call after me but I didn't care, Liam hated me...
I fumbled with the lock on the door and looked around, I walked over to the sink and grabbed the rasor sitting on the counter.
I take out the blade, my arms and hands shaking. I put down the blade and removed my bracelets covering my arms one at a time. Eventually all the old scars from weeks up until a few days ago showed.
I shakily went to grab the blade again and let it hover over an area of skin that hadn't been cut yet.
I took a deep breath taking the blade away "PATHETIC" The voice yelled at me. "Your pathetic, you realise that right? Liam AND Louis both hate you!" I felt a surge of rage and sadness rush over me. I couldn't control my arms anymore they just acted for me and before I could stop myself I grabbed the blade and cut my arm, digging into my skin. I felt tears roll down my cheeks leaving a hot path behinds, but I didn't stop, it was almost addicting. Each cut I felt more pain surge through my body until I let out a choked sob and stopped. "I'm s-so pathetic...I don't deserve my li-" I heard a knock on the door and I froze looking in mirror at the tears rolling down my face my eyes wide with fear of anyone noticing. I pulled down the sleeves of the shirt making the cuts sting.
"Hazza? Are you o-ok?" I heard Lou call from the other side of the door his voice cracking. I probably made him feel bad...
"I-uhm y-yeah" I tried to sound okay but it probably didn't work. I took my bracelets and shoved them in my pocket, I grabbed the blade and put it into a drawer.
I opened the door and looked slightly down to see louis' eyes looking all over me.
"Are you sure your ok, boo" boo....I smiled at the nickname.
"NO" the voice yelled at me "YOU CAN'T LOVE A BOY! ITS WRONG!" I looked down at my feet.
"Mhmm" He lifted my face to look at him. I couldn't hold eye contact with his amazingly wonderful pale blue eyes, no not pale blue....baby blue? No...louis blue.
"sorry, but I don't believe that for a second, love" He paused looking like he was contemplating something then before I knew it he had his arms wrapped around my waist,  his wonderful face in the crook of my neck. I just stood there in pure shock i felt more tears roll down my cheeks but I stayed silent.
I slowly wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly, gripping onto him like my life depended on it. "I-Im sorry I didn't mean to!" I gripped onto bim tighter
"Sunshine, what do you mean?"
"I'm sorry for everything..." I sobbed "Im sorry for wearing your shirt, Im sorry for making you mad, Im sorry for being fricked up, Im sorry.....Im not enough..." I admitted to everything going through my mind, trying not to mention the cutting.
"Harry...don't EVER say that...your more than enough...I was just mad at liam for telling me off for the millionth time" he rolled his eyes...that was kind hot- NO don't think like that it's wrong.
"Can I ask you something, Louis?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded in response.
"Is liking boys wrong?" I looked at the ground again. He scrunched up his face.
"Look at me, haz" I darted my eyes up and a smile creeped onto my face quickly before I wiped it off "do you like boys?" I bit my lip "No...say no..." The voice told me
"I-I don't...Know" I admitted
"Well if you do, it's okay, it's normal for someone to like...well anyone nomatter what gender" he gave me a small smile and I felt blush creeping onto my face.
He gave me a peck on the cheek and left towards our bedroom.
"He....kissed my....cheek" I felt my face warm up and smiled
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1.4k words...HOLY SHIT IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONNNNG
I almost am done with unbelievers!
Y'all better go read it
Also be prepared cuz the first chapter has got sum...uhm
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Anygays yall yeah
-A 💜