“Drink?” Aston asked me, taking my coat off me to check.
“Sure,” I smiled.
Together we wandered over to the bar, ordering a drink and then standing together.
“This is different,” I said, my eyes scanning the event.
It was a relatively classy affair, and I recognized quite a few familiar faces in the crowd. Most of them where TV personalities, and a few others were popstars I recognized from the magazines.
“We should make the rounds,” Aston said, “Say hi and that.”
“Sure.”
I followed behind him, stopping to greet a few of Aston’s celebrity friends. I certainly felt out of place at an event like this, and I did my best to hang on to Aston’s every word as he spoke to different people.
But it just seemed like it was a never-ending task of greeting people and sharing good wishes for Christmas. Was it bad that I wanted Aston’s attention on me and not these other people?
As we neared an hour of saying hello to different people I slipped off to the bar for another round, losing Aston in the process. With our pair of drinks I slouched into a booth, a frown on my face. This was exactly what had happened at Nando’s; he’d been so caught up being Aston from JLS that he’d forgotten all about me.
After I finished my drink I started in on his, my eyes searching the crowd for him all the while. Every so often I’d spot him, talking to some other celebrity and not even noticing I was missing. I’d given up on going over to him, instead waiting for him to come to me.
When his drink was gone I gave up, slipping to the coat check to get my coat and then leaving in a cab. It was so not what I’d expected, especially after everything he’d said to me the night before.
“What are you doing home?” Natalie asked me as I kicked my heels off by the front door.
“Was bored,” I shrugged.
“Does Aston know you left.”
“Probably not.”
“What?”
“He was too busy talking to all his celebrity friends,” I said, “He hardly paid any attention to me.”
“You’re kidding!”
“Nope,” I said, “I’m going to go get some pajamas on.”
“I’ll get some wine for you,” Natalie said, “There’s some good Christmas films on TV.”
“Perfect.”
I wandered down to my room and pulled on my comfiest pajamas, curling up on the couch with my best friend and watching almost half of Elf before the door buzzed.
“Looks like he finally noticed,” I muttered.
Natalie let him in and then wandered off to her room, attempting to be discreet but failing miserably.
“Babe! Why didn’t you answer your phone?!” Aston asked, sitting in the arm chair to the side of the sofa.
“Couldn’t be bothered… Just like you.”
“I’m sorry,” he sighed.
“It’s fine,” I shrugged, “It’s your job after all.”
“Yeah, but I brought you along for the whole purpose of spending time with you and I just…”
“Forgot?”
“I didn’t mean it Jess,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter,” I replied, “We live in two different worlds now.”
“We don’t though!”
“Well… I’ll tell you this, I like Peterborough Aston a hell of a lot more than JLS Aston.”
He looked a bit hurt by this statement, but I could tell that he understood where I was coming from. They weren’t the same person and he knew it.
“I was actually kind of excited to go out with you tonight,” I whispered, “I don’t know why because I’ve never had feelings for you in my life. But I did for a split second there… I thought maybe there could be something here.”
“But?”
“It’s not going to work.”
“Jess…” Aston sighed, “Please…”
“I gave you another shot, but it was the same as last time. I think we’d do better to just be old friends from our childhood.”
“I don’t want that though.”
“I doesn’t matter what either of us want, its just how it is,” I shrugged.
“You can’t really believe that,” Aston said.
“I think tonight was a pretty good example of how this is a lost cause,” I said, “It would take a Christmas miracle for things to just magically work for us I think.”
“If I weren’t Aston from JLS, would you give me a shot?” he asked.
“Maybe,” I replied, “Probably.”
“And that kiss last night meant nothing?”
“I didn’t say that,” I replied with a frown, “I just think if we tried something things would end in anger or tears and we’d lose our friendship.”
“So that’s it?”
“Yeah, I think so,” I said, “We gave it a go... Sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” Aston said, standing up to go to the door.
“See you for Christmas Kebabs?” I asked, referring to our tradition of going with our group of friends for a midnight kebab on Christmas.
“Yeah sure.”
“Merry Christmas Ast.”
“You too Jessie,” he smiled, “And for the record, I’m going to wish for that Christmas miracle.”
I forced a smile and waved him out, feeling bad for denying him like that. But I stood by my argument, it just wasn’t going to work. Our lives were far too different.
“That was sort of mean Jess,” Natalie said.
“I knew you’d listen.”
“He clearly really likes you.”
“It doesn’t matter how he feels, or how I feel,” I repeated, “It’s just not going to work. Might as well save us from tears and anger later on. I don’t want to rip our friend group apart because we did something stupid.”
“You do like him though?” Natalie smiled faintly.
“More than I thought I did.”
