Morose (Harry Styles FanFiction)

Chapter 4

Sometimes when you think about how far you've journeyed and where you're standing now, all you can think about is the fights you've had to endure and the mountains you've had to overcome to be in the position you've found yourself in.

In my case I've never felt more like myself and alive than I do today, I have everything I've ever wanted in my career and in myself. But sometimes I think about everything I could've had if I hadn't chose this path, maybe I'd be married with a few kids? Maybe I'd still be in law school like my brother? Or maybe I'd take after my mom and be a Mortgage Loan Officer. My family always expected me to be successful like everyone one of my relatives are, we're just a driven and intelligent family full of lawyers and agents and accountants that I found myself following that path because it's what I thought I was supposed to do. It is what was expected of me after all, I'm just as intelligent as everyone else in my family I just had a different dream and an imagination that would take me into another world when I would think about everything I wanted.

I'm standing here looking at these clothes that I've packed away in travel totes for all of these cities we're about to travel to all over the world and I couldn't be prouder, prouder of no one else but myself. I've worked so hard and have endured so much criticism and doubt from everyone around me that I didn't think I'd ever be successful in something so different and new to most people. When I tell everyone that I'm a "celebrity stylist" most of the time they're so clueless and think that these celebrities just "style themselves" which is ridiculous to me now, most celebrities don't even understand color palettes or how to pick shoes for a certain outfit. It's baffling how many of them can't even wash their own laundry.

I guess what I'm trying to say is all of this was unknown territory for someone like me and I had to take on a lot of things that no one was prepared for, like working full time at home and flying to LA twice a month to do jobs to build my resumé and having to pay for it all myself. I didn't go to college like my parents wanted so in return I didn't get any financial help so all of these flights and stays were all on me.

I grew up privileged and never wanting for anything that I couldn't have. It could've ruined me but my mom always taught us to be thankful and respect how hard our parents worked to give us that. So to not have the support that my parents showed to my siblings that did what they wanted them to do was a huge slap in the face. I've forgiven my mom because she mostly didn't have a say in the matter since my dad calls the shots with the money, but I have not forgiven my dad and I haven't spoken to him since I left home.

I miss them so much though, I miss that nostalgic feeling of walking into my childhood home and breathing in the fresh smell of incense my mom always has burning and the smell of freshly cooked dinner our chef cooked for us at night. It's all so hazy now since my world has changed so much and my life looks very different day to day. My first whole year is almost over and I'm ending it my going on tour with One Direction as their stylist, what an honor.

I close the doors to the truck that's taking all of this to the tour buses. Our first stop is San Diego, you'd think we would've just done the LA shows at the start of the tour but apparently the band likes to end off in LA since it's 3 nights of sold out shows and it's extremely 'hyped up' as per Niall.

"Is that it Ms. James?" The tall man that loaded all of them for me walks around from the front of the truck.

"Yes, thank you so much I'll meet you at the buses to help organize!" I yell back to him as I walk to my car to drive back to my apartment to leave my car there and take an Uber to the agency we're all meeting at.

I feel my phone vibrate in my hand and I hold it up to read "Paul" who is the tour manager, I quickly answer.

"Hey Pa-"