You just got your first broken heart and it sure felt like shit, you promised yourself that if you ever got into a relationship again you would make sure that person really loved you, which meant that if someone wanted to be with you they'd have to...
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"and I know that you mean it when you say you love me... That's why I can't do this to you anymore, I can't keep saying I love you when I'm not even sure of it myself..." you were simply in shock after hearing those words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth who you've been in a relationship with for more than a year...
He doesn't love you? What? 10 minutes ago he was asking if he could give you a kiss, holding your hand, hugging you, hell he even was the first one to say those words in the relationship and now he's saying he doesn't mean it? Was this a some kind of bad joke?
"Well..." you finally said. "If you're not sure I think the best thing to do is for us to break up..." you couldn't believe you were saying those things, you even dreamt of marrying him because he wouldn't stop talking about growing up and finally make your lives together...
"I'm sorry..." he said looking at you with pity. You hated the way he was looking at you and you would never be able to forget that look.
"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll go now." you said waiting for him to move seats just so you could past through and run away from what it felt like the worst nightmare.
You stupidly hoped that he would stop you from going away from him, but no, he was letting you go and you could feel how relieved he was to do that but you just couldn't accept it.
You hadn't even shed a single tear, you were still in shock by the whole situation, it was all so sudden like you had gotten hit by a giant truck in the middle of what it appeared to be an empty street. It was until you called your mom and tried to tell her to pick you up that you broke down and couldn't find a way to stop crying just so you could explain your mom the whole situation.
"y/n? What's wrong? Honey are you okay? What's happening?" you don't know what you hated more, this whole bullshit or hearing the worry in your mom's voice.
"I... We, we broke up mom." you said just to keep busting into tears.
"What? I'll go pick you up." your mom hung up and you cried your heart out while you were waiting for her.
Lucky for you, there was no one at that part of the mall and you tried to cry as quiet as possible, you were embarrassed by being dumped in such a public place, you hated crying in public, who didn't?
Your mom got there as fast as she could and when you were with her in the car you explained the whole situation to her.
"THAT FUCKING BASTARD!" She yelled angry, she was the most angry you had ever seen her, of course, her only daughter had been heart broken by an idiot she never even liked. "I swear to God, If I see him I might end up killing him!!" you listened to her rant as you were still silently crying.
"Oh baby, you don't deserve this, I would do anything just to trade places with you..." she took your hand tightly and besides this whole mess you were happy you had her by your side.
You finally got home and she hugged you as tight as she had held your hand in the car. You cried for hours, she even bought you ice cream and tried to watch something with you but nothing seemed to make you feel better, you couldn't even eat the ice cream, your stomach was a mess and you knew you wouldn't be able to eat anything for God knows how long.
Your now ex boyfriend hadn't even texted you, you didn't even know why you were expecting him to do so, really deep down you knew it was the best for you, not for him, only for you.
You were now angry, really angry, and you let that feeling take over you, so you grabbed your phone and texted him.
y/n "YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? JUST A WEEK AGO YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE TOGETHER, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"
boyf<3 "I know, and I really hate myself for hurting you like this... You deserve better, you're way better off without me..."
y/n "AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME?"
boyf<3 "Idk yet... Just, please don't make this any harder..." y/n "FUCK YOU! GO TO HELL, HONESTLY FUCK YOU, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'VE HURT ME! NOW I KNOW THAT YOU NEVER LOVED ME, YOU WERE LYING THIS WHOLE TIME!!"
boyf<3 "No! Please don't say that, I do love you and I won't stop loving you from one day to another..."
y/n "THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!"
You needed a valid reason, you were so confused, you didn't know what you had done so wrong and not knowing the reason was something that would leave a trauma in you...
boyf<3 "Idk y/n... I felt like I was living in a cage..."
"In a cage?" you asked yourself, you had so many hard times trying to tell him when something made you feel bad because you didn't want him to feel that you were clingy or something like that, and now he's telling you that's exactly how he felt? He had told you so many times that you could tell him anything and that he wouldn't get mad, you had took your time believing those words but after some time of being together you trusted him and told him everything in the best way possible, and even after so many times of having the same problem you would tell yourself that you'd get used to it and that you could keep going with the relationship.
y/n "FUCK YOU, I EVEN ASKED YOU ONCE IF YOU WERE TRULY SURE OF WANTING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME!! AND THAT IF YOU WEREN'T SURE YOU HAD TO TELL ME RIGHT THEN BC IT WOULD BE MORE PAINFUL AFTER SOME TIME!!"
boyf<3 "Ik, and I really thought that's what I wanted..."
y/n "I HATE YOU SO MUCH, I HOPE YOU KNOW IT!!"
boyf<3 "Ik, and I deserve it... Sorry... I guess this is goodbye then... Or see you later, you never know what might happen."
Sorry my ass, you knew he felt way better off without you, you knew he wasn't sorry about the decision he had taken.
y/n "FUCK YOU!!"
You sent that text before finally blocking him. You cringed at the name you had given him as a contact and proceeded to delete his number just to start crying again right after "I guess this is goodbye then" you remembered the text and thought about how easy it was for him to say goodbye to you.
You kept having recurring nightmares in the few 2 hours you were able to sleep every night, all the same, you had seen yourself in third person getting dumped and you begging him to stay, you felt humiliated. You knew this feeling wasn't going to last forever but it didn't really feel like that, he was your first boyfriend and the way things ended was what hurt the most, you just wanted to go forward and feel better already; at least you had your mom and your friends who have always been there and you knew that they were always going to been there. You decided to focus on the people that were worth it, your family and your friends.
You had promised yourself that if there was ever going to be a next relationship you had to make sure that this person really loved you. At the same time, you didn't believe that someone could actually break those walls you just built upon you.
A/N Hey! Idk if someone will actually read this story but I wanna apologize beforehand for the lack of writing skills and also for any gramatical mistakes that you may stumble on, english isn't my first language but I wanna practice it so this helps a lot and also gives me the chance to fantasize a little about having a little something with Oikawa lmao, so I guess what I'm trying to say is welcome to this little fantasy and I hope that you like it a lot:3 Also, this story will have angst bc don't you love it? :D ALSO, the ex boyfriend does not have a name lmao, I couldn't bother in giving him one so you can just give him a name or not, do as you please:)
