Treacherous

Prologue (Chapter 1)

Warnings for the series: smut, age gap (reader is still legal), dirty talk, voyeurism, infidelity and cheating (reader is the cheater in this one), pregnancy, breeding kink, cuckoldery and somewhat degrading comments about partners due to possessiveness, jealousy, rough sex, unprotected sex, angry! Chris, kind of manipulative! Chris too. There's no confrontation in this one, it's pretty much as little plot as possible to get the porn going, so the angst is minimal. This is NOT a sebastian fic.

A/N: I'd like to make it very clear that this is not a sebastian fic but I don't intend any harm to him. I don't think Chris is this type of guy either, this is 100% a work of fiction. I also don't want to celebrate any sort of infidelity in real life - as a matter of fact, this fic started as a way of dealing with my own trauma. After a conversation with ​ a friend back in July, I realized I couldn't deal with the idea of not being able to write about something. It hurt more than the act of actually writing it, and funny enough, after it was done, it was like a healing process had started. So anyway, I really despise cheating, but writing about it is helping me deal with some personal problems and maybe reading what I'm sharing may help you guys, too. Just don't expect me writing about the reader being the one who's being cheated anytime soon!

Sebastian's P.O.V.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

I couldn't help the frustrated groan I let out as I ran my hands over my face, trying to gather my thoughts as best as I could. The truth was, I didn't know what was wrong. I just knew that whatever it was, it was in me, not in her.

"For the last time, baby, no. I swear, there's nothing wrong with you. I love you. You're perfect, I just..." I watched as realization suddenly sparkled in her eyes, her body leaving mine to sit on the other side of the couch.

"You just don't feel attracted to me." There wasn't anything I could say, and she knew. I watched as defeat washed over her face.

"Please don't look like that," I begged, and she whipped her head up to look at me with her eyes squinted in irritation.

"How do you want me to look? My boyfriend doesn't find me attractive, while I'm over here dying of sexual frustration." Biting my lip, guilt washed over me while I watched as she ran her hands over her face.

"I'm sorry," I said, but she simply shook her head.

"You don't have anything to feel sorry for, Seb. I mean, it would have been nice to have known earlier, maybe before I fell in love with you, but at the same time, I can understand why you waited to see if..."

"Wait, hold up. Why are you saying that? Do you regret falling in love with me?" Now she was the one looking guilty. She hid her face behind her hands, her elbows on her knees. My heart was all over the place. I don't think I had realized just how much I didn't want to lose her until that very moment. "Y/N, answer me."

At last, drawing a long breath, she looked up to stare at me again.

"Well, it would make things easier, wouldn't it? Because I don't know where we can go from here. I can't be in a relationship that doesn't completely satisfy me, Seb. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. And I know you feel the same way, don't try to hide it."

I let my head hang low, rubbing my face once more. It was true. I had been relying on a lot of porn and my own touch since we first started dating. At first, it didn't worry me because the relationship was still new and I didn't want to pressure Y/N into anything, but as time went on and she made it clear that she was prepared to take this next step, I found myself unable to perform when we were together.

I didn't know what it was. Of course I knew she was beautiful and before we met, I had often admired from afar just how sexy she could be. But when we met, I could only see the sweetness and innocence of this girl who was so much younger than me.

Guess I felt tainted everytime we found ourselves in a more heated makeout session, like I was doing something wrong. Which was ridiculous, I mean, she is my girlfriend and I love her very much. She's of legal age and I wouldn't be her first, but still... That's how I felt.

Disgusting.

"I don't want to lose you, though," I finally let out, pulling her hands in mine. "I love you. I don't want to break up."

"I don't want to either, Seb. So what do we do?" I threw my head back, trying to clear my head as I thought of possibilities for us. "Is there anything I could possibly do that will make you see me as a sexual person?" Her intonation was that of a joke, but I could see that it was a serious question.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

"Well, let's think about it. I'm open to anything, really. Lap dances, filming myself, roleplay, I don't know. Threesomes, letting someone else fuck me while you watch... Whatever may help. Think about it and come talk to me, okay?" I nodded, forcing myself to meet her eyes as I feared for our future together.

"Okay, baby." She sighed, getting up from my couch before picking up her bag. "I love you," I reminded her, but she never smiled when she answered, "I love you too."