vent book

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I keep smiling..smiling....i'm sad...but i must keep "behaving"......so i smile! Smiling and smiling forever and always, no matter what....why can't i just take off this fake personality, maybe it's because i've been wearing it since it was formed? Or maybe i'm just too scared....maybe it's because the only time i show it is online, and not too often there either. Maybe i have lots of friends...or maybe i only have one.....maybe all the people i think are my friends aren't who they say they are...maybe they all actually hate me.....maybe my best friend.....is my only friend.....my only TRUE friend.....my love...no one knows how i actually think, feel, act. No one except birdy♡ i am grateful for my lovely birdy....i hope they never leave me, or hurt me. They are all I have left...