Growing Up Is Hard To Face

Geoff 7th grade (Awsten POV)

I sighed sitting quietly next to Remington at the lunch table.  Across the cafeteria was this boy. He had brown punk looking hair and a beautiful face. He looked so bad ass but he was a year older than me. I want to be friends with him but at the same time I have this secret. I've been questioning my sexuality a little. Mostly because of this punk guy I mean..I totally wouldn't mind kissing him you know? Also I know for sure Remington is gay he doesn't even have to tell me but I know he's worried about it for some reason. I felt Remington's thigh press up against mine. I blushed a little and looked at him he was cowering down a little and leaning up against me.

"You alright Rem?" I asked softly. I felt him shrug, I wrapped my arm around him as Ciara sat down in front of me. She scoffed and I rolled my eyes.

"So," I saw her lean forward so her cleavage was more visible. I brought my eyes back up to her face quickly, and I saw the smirk on her face. "Wanna go out with me and a couple of my friends?" 

"I mean if Remington can come too." I stated and shrugged feeling him lighten up a bit.  She sighed angrily. 

"Yeah whatever, as long as you're going." She got up and walked off.

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TW//SCARS AND ABUSE

I got into a casual sweater and jeans since it was cold out. I walked over to Remington who was sitting on my bed in jeans and a shirt, scars littering his arms from both self harm and his father. He was slouched over. I sighed and grabbed a My chem hoodie that was in my closet. 

"Rem, it's cold outside, wanna wear this?" I asked casually. 

"Y-yeah if that's ok with you.."  He looked up, I could tell he was happy and wanted it wear it.

"Alright you emo." I laughed and tossed it at him. He put it on quickly before we both headed outside.  We walked all the way to the mall, it wasn't too far. The first person I noticed was the punk boy standing with Ciara and a group of her friends.

"Hi Awsieeee, this is Geoff and you know the girls already." Ciara giggled. I blushed looking up at Geoff, his eyes were so beautiful. He'd probably hate mine I look like a demon.

"Hey, nice to meet you Awsten. Also whos your friend, he's cool."  Geoff smiled. I blushed more and swallowed. Remington was hiding behind me at this point, he was always shy.

"U-um t-thats R-remington." I stuttered. Geoff smiled and waved. I felt Remington grab my hand suddenly. I gently massaged it with my thumb. 

"Cool!" Geoff said before going back to chatting with Ciara. I sighed and walked behind the group with Remington. 

We had walked for a while my mind in the clouds thinking about Geoff, Remington has been quiet. I felt him tug harshly on my sleeve. I stopped walking and turned to him. His face displayed discomfort and his eyes were glossy. I sighed.

"Whats wrong?" I whispered sweetly starting back up rubbing his hand. He pointed down to the bathrooms without talking to me. I nodded and brought him over walking inside with him. He's quieter than usual.  When he came out he latched back onto my arm. I didn't mind I was just curious as to what was up. He was acting like a child. When we caught back up with Ciara they were heading into Build a Bear. I smiled when Remington's eyes widened and he danced in place a little. I smiled and walked with him inside. He looked around and had his eyes drawn to a stuffed cat. I smiled and walked over with him. I noticed him fidgeting a bit and his eyes darting.

"Don't worry Rem no one will mind just get the one you want."  I smiled.

"n we get matching o-ones but with different outfits?" He said shyly. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah sure!" I picked up two for the both of us. We got them made and picked outfits. This was the happiest I've seen Remington.

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I had dropped Remington off at his house and walked back with Geoff after he dropped Ciara off. 

"M-my house is just over t-there-" I was cut off by him cupping my face and kissing me. I felt heat course through my body. I kissed back quickly but pulled away when the blood rushed down. My eyes were wide with shock and I was nervous. Oh so nervous. He smirked at me before waving goodbye and walking off. I stood there with my awkward boner and quickly ran to my house and upstairs to my room. I hid in my pillow and exhaled  grinding my hips into my mattress. 

My door burst open and I felt someone jumped ontop of me. I shrieked and stayed still heat rushing to my face.

"Jawn what the fuck!!" I panicked.

"Haha got you mid dirty thought bitch." Jawn smirked.

"Fuck ooooooooooooooooooooofff" I groaned and hit him with a pillow. "get out for like five minutes Jesus Christ."

"Tell me all about you fantasies about Ciara." He laughed before heading downstairs.

My stomached flipped and I felt sick. I sighed taking a minute to myself to calm down.

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"Hey Jawn..." I said quietly as he went through my pokemon cards on the floor.

"Yeah dude?" he said without looking up.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I-i think I like guys t-too..yknow.." 

Jawn shrugged. "Thats cool dude." he kept focused on the cards.

I looked down a few tears falling down my face. I shakily sighed. 

"Why are you crying, it's chill dude." Jawn got up and sat next to me holding me close. I sniffled softly trying to keep myself together I hate crying in front of people. He held me and continued to rub my back.