The 'Best Friend' Complex

Prologue

I sat across from my best friend at the bar. It was two days before St Valentine's Day and he was using me as a sounding board for good romantic ideas for him and his girlfriend- my cousin Leah. It was their third Valentine's and he was trying to up his game. 

Kyle is a nice mix of dork meets sexy. He's patient, kind, protective, funny and an utter romantic. Who is currently breaking my heart for the millionth time.

I'd known him for a couple of years before I'd introduced him to my cousin. I stood back and saw the sparks fly between them that night as I faded into the background. Typical I guess.

My internal angst only caused my bladder to signal that a trip to the bathroom was needed. By the time I came back, another round of beer was on the table and he held out his hand for me to 'tag' him for his own nature call. 

We drank beer. Because I wasn't a girl with him. I was one of the guys. I never wanted to be treated like a delicate flower or anything which was why my mind was such a mess. I wasn't a fruity cocktail sort of female either so why was I stressing over a damn beer? 

Because I was lonely. 

As he made his way back his eyes met mine and he automatically smiled his lopsided grin that could make me smile at my most irritated point. 

It was fairly certain that the trip to the bathroom had started making the alcohol hit him finally. 

Somehow our conversation took that rambly quality where you start off talking about the weather, reach to sports, take a turn at politics and then some how end up at love.

"Man! I can't believe we've been together for four years already" he sighed contentedly.

"Three" I corrected automatically, " You guys met in September... it's Feburary so no it's three years" 

He gave an irritated huff. "Ughh Danny! why do you have to be such a know it all" he laughed good naturedly as I gave him the deathstare of doom.

"Nah" he mused as he mussed up his hair , giving it that sexy dishevelled look, " you're a cool girl - hell - if I weren't with your cousin I'd be with you" 

And that right there was a lie.

A kind one but it's usually the kind ones that cut the deepest.

I laughed in a derisive sort of way. "Kyle you knew me for two years before you met Leah and there was nothing. The first night you met her you went on about how hot she was" 

After that I safely diverted the conversation by stating that I was the sole reason they were together and we fell into a friendly but peaceful argument. 

Dropping me off at my apartment involved more stumbling and drifting than anything that can me safely called 'walking'.

Finally we were on my floor after struggling up the two flights of stairs that seemed hell bent on sending my ass on a gravity trip. 

Kyle leaned on the doorway opposite my own watching me struggle with my keys as I tried to catch my breath. 

When at last I won the struggle with the door knob and let that bitch know who was boss I turned and bid him goodbye. 

He yanked me into a hug - he was a touchy drunk. 

And before I could bite back my tongue I blurted out " So what do you really like about Leah" 

He scrunched up his glassy eyes as he thought hard. Then he shrugged. "She's amazing" 

" I got over looks alone a long time ago" he said "but she's the full package and it's not just looks - cause you're an amazing person too and if I weren't with her -"

" You still wouldn't be interested in my ass - remember we already established this at the bar" I teased with a grin. 

" I gotta go to bed - got work in the morning" I said. 

"Yeah me too" he mused. 

As he walked off I yelled, " AND REMEMBER TO TELL THE BOYS THAT NO MEANS NO!" 

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU - " 

I chucked as I closed the door and locked it, allowing it to drop only once I felt safe and alone. 

Tonight was not going to be another crying night . I scrolled through my newsfeed on FB stopping at a Grumpy Cat caption : If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember... no one loves you on the other days of the year either.

And suddenly I was being mocked my a grouchy feline. Something inside me snapped - or maybe it was the alcohol trying to make a break for freedom. 

I was gonna give up on love - I was gonna be a swinging 50 year old lady with 10 cats( decidedly happy ones)  and a basement of marijuana - who the fuck needs love anyway?