The JereMike Collection

Playing Hero Playing House

During his time as a day-shift security guard, Mike made a few close observations: Children had absoultly no perception of personal space or respect for other people's property, Parents were always convinced that their child was the prime example of good behavior, and their kids seemed to always find new places to stuff their half eaten pizza.

He pulls out a cheese covered Bonnie plushie out from a vent as he thinks this, wrinkling his nose and tossing it in the trash. Maybe one day management would hire a janitor, but until then, he was stuck as an alternative.

His promotion began easy enough, given his previous position at Fazbear's. Making sure birthday guest didn't stray too far from the cake, the animatronics were left alone to preform on stage, which child belonged to which parent, giving screaming toddlers Freddy band-aids when they scraped their knees, and of course, being the ball pit's constant life guard.

Mike glared at the new addition to the play area and groaned. A new bouncy house was not going to help his situation.

It instantly became a favorite, kids practically flinging off their shoes once they passed through the front door, making a beeline for the brightly colored inflatable death trap. More often than what should be, Mike would find himself stationed by the opening, watching through the net for any sign of trouble with his arms crossed, a sour look on his face. The rules strictly stated for everyone to keep their hands to themselves, but as he eyed a laughing little girl push a boy to the side, he wondered if Fazbear's management was aware that these kids couldn't read the posters on the wall.

Fazbear had it's own holiday, everyday, one which Mike liked to call Fuck-With-The-Security-Guard-Day, and damn him if the kids didn't celebrate it to it's fullest.

He's lost count as of how many time he's sat down to clear his thoughts when he'd be attacked; mostly by one or two brats who've made it their entire purpose in life to make his shift absolutely miserable. One would attach himself to Mike's leg, the other would make a grab for his keys, giving a mischievous look as he snatched them from the hook of his belt, him and his distraction bolting away. Mike would spend the next half hour hunting them down, only to pry them from their chubby hands and give a stern glare, returning to his position.

The days passed slower as the weeks pressed on, and at some point he just stopped trying. Kids want to throw pizza everywhere? Fine. They want to barrel-roll on the merry-go-round? Fine. There's one swinging from the ceiling fan? Fine. Whatever, do what you want. Mike doesn't care anymore, and he frankly doesn't remember management ever have cared at all.

There would be times when Jeremy would come into the building at 10PM, walk passed the play room to get ready for his shift when he'd stop cold. There would be Mike, his usual security cap replaced by a party hat, his tie undone and marker scribbled on one half of his face, standing over what looked like a make-shift slip n' slide made out of melted ice-cream and pizza grease.

Mike would mutter his usual snark under his breath as Jeremy followed him to locker room, trying to keep the giggles in his voice hush.

Jeremy would help him, taking Mike's tie and scrubbing the sauce stain out best he could in the shabby sinks the restrooms provided while the guard would toss his shirt and slacks, grateful that Fazbear's had more uniform inventory in his size. Then Mike would go home, fall face first onto his couch and sleep like a dog, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

Though the rest didn't last long, since he'd find himself glancing at the clock and checking his phone with a certain nightwatch in mind. But it was the peace and quiet that counts, he guessed.

One night during a shift, Jeremy asked him if he liked playing with the children during the day, and Mike seriously had to restrain from breaking the tablet in half. What those children did to him was not 'playing', no. It was a constant headache of trying to do his job of keeping them safe while tolerating their bullying throughout the day.