BTS Angst Oneshots

HeartBroken No Matter What (Jungkook)💙

"I just feel like I'll never get over you"
–Unknown

Walking past you in the school hallways and seeing you laughing with your friends isn't easy, I remember when I used to laugh alongside you but not anymore, those are all memories now. I wonder when you stopped loving me, I'm too scared to ask afraid I'd break down just from hearing your voice. You told me you would never leave me but I realized that was a lie just like how you said you would always love me. I wish before I started liking you I knew that it would break my heart into pieces. Loving you only made me hate myself and the fact that I can't get over you only makes me hate myself more. I should have listened to my friends that told me that love only hurts. I went against everyone for you and you only left me. I wonder if I'll ever learn to smile again. How did you move on so easily, did I mean nothing to you?

Every smile, every laugh, every kiss, every I love you in the two years you made me happy was so easy to just forget for you. We went from best friends to lovers to strangers. I thought you would be in my life forever like you had promised but like I expected you left me on my own. I'm so sure at this point no one can repair the damages to my heart you caused. There have been times where I've been caught staring at you and someone would ask if I knew you. A million memories go through my mind as I tell them I used to. We used to be that perfect couple and then you fell out of love with me. I always wonder what I did to have that happen. Even though we are done I still wonder how your family is and if your mom was upset when she found out we broke up... She used to love me.

It's almost pathetic how much I still have you on my mind. It isn't even almost pathetic anymore. Ask anyone and they would just flat out call it pathetic. I go through all the days we spent together and I overanalyze it all seeing if I could find any signs of the start of our downfall. This would have been easier if you weren't so perfect but, through all the time I've known you never once have I found a flaw. It's so sad how I would do anything to be back in your arms.

"You're staring at him again," My friend Jungho sighs, pulling me out of my dark thoughts.

"I'm not, I just happened to be staring in his general direction," I reply.

"Then why the look of sorrow?" Jungho asks.

"It's not a big deal," I say grabbing food off my tray and shoving it in my mouth hoping for him to change the subject. The bell rang, saving me from the conversation that was about to start.

"See you around," I said getting up with my tray and running off. I never ran to my next class anymore. Not after we broke up and he still sat in that class but at a much farther distance than before. It had been two months and still, I had nightmares and the heartbreak still felt new. How much more did I need to love him for it to be enough for him to have stayed? He hurt me so bad but I know he couldn't control how he felt and none of this was intentional. He was only doing the right thing and for that, I can't hate him, then again I probably wouldn't be able to hate him even if he cheated on me. Why couldn't we stay friends at least? I just want him in my life, I don't care if it's romantically or not. I wanted to scream but instead, I stayed silent and sat down at my seat in my least favorite class. Shortly after he walked in laughing with his friends laughing just like I used to do with them. Not even one of them stayed in my life after the breakup, we were all so close, I didn't just lose one... I lost seven.

"Alright class, everyone settle down," The teacher called out and the class fell silent. "You all know we had a project coming up, but what you didn't know is that I was choosing partners," The teacher explained. The very reason I hated this class so much is she always chose partners and I never got with Jungkook for the months we took this class together. The chances of me getting him now were slim so I just waited not worrying too much. I was brought back into reality when I heard my name called.