Shity Poetry

what hurts the most

Have you ever wondered what would happen to someone if you never existed? Have you ever wondered if you're one friend would be dead now because nobody else was fighting for them, because nobody else cared enough to make sure they survived another night? Have you ever wondered how life would be different for the people around you, what would happen to your best friend? what would happen to your worst enemy? Would they take Their anger and hatred out on someone else? Someone who wasn't able to handle the mental and physical abuse and pain that you bore? Would the person who bullied you find someone weaker, more desperate? And if they did and your replacement decided they couldn't take it anymore, what would happen to the person who used to be your worst enemy? Would they break? would they be able to live with the guilt of knowing they caused someone to be so hopeless and desperate as to kill themselves? Would they be able to live with themselves anymore or would they then end their lives? What hurts the most is wanting to end your life so badly, having the reasons you're still alive slipping one by one that you're bully becomes one of the reasons you haven't killed yourself yet because even though they caused you so much pain you want them to be happy. It hurts so much when you want everyone to be happy but you can't find happiness yourself. It hurts so much when you love the person who has destroyed you more than you love yourself.