TOGETHER | shawmila

two.

Camila tried to spend Thanksgiving day acting as normal as possible. She didn't wake up with coffee like she usually did, trying ice water instead. She turned on the parade in the living room and helped her mother and sister with the last of dinner prep, taking a few moments to breathe whenever she felt a wave of nausea.

She ate the turkey and stuffing, actually managing to keep it down when she ate slow and drank carbonated water in between each bite. Afterward, her mother brought out the photo album. Camila was already emotional keeping her secret, and watching her family flip past pictures of her and Sofia as babies made her tear up.

"Here's what I was looking for. I love this!" Her mother took a piece of paper out from between the pages.

It was Camila's and Sofia's handprints in paint on a piece of construction paper, their fingers and palms dressed up to look like turkeys. Camila stared at their tiny handprints, suddenly picturing her baby's tiny hands and froze.

"Wow, my hand used to be so small!" Sofia placed her hand up against the picture. "That's so cute!"

Camila barely held in her emotions until she was alone in the bathroom. She took a few moments to breathe, wiping her eyes with toilet paper. She jumped when her phone vibrated. Shelby had texted her, asking how she was doing.

Fine. Taking it easy.

Camila wrote back, pausing, her thumbs hovering over the keys.

I hate lying to them and keeping this huge secret.

Shelby told she knew how she felt and Camila felt torn. One on hand, Shelby was keeping a secret from her parents too, but Camila couldn't help but feel like her secret was more earth-shattering. Still, she knew Shelby was just trying to support her.

Camila got a text from Shawn asking about dinner and she told him it was good, trying to use lots of happy emojis so he wouldn't suspect anything. Lying to him hurt worse than lying to her parents, but she just knew she had to wait until they were in person before she destroyed his life with the news.

Camila's family decided to watch another holiday movie and Camila sat up with them, sitting somewhat separated on the couch. During the movie, she found herself watching her father out of the corner of her eye. He was so handsome and kind, truly her favorite person. He was going to be so destroyed when he found out.

For the first time, Camila really considered their reactions. Her mother might be upset, but would also practically suggest the next steps. Her father would be different. He would cry, she knew, and what if he thought of her different? Like she wasn't his little girl anymore? She took a deep breath and tried not to cry again.

Sofia was different. She would probably think it would be cool to have a new baby. Camila wondered if she even really understood where babies came from.

Camila stayed awake that night, waiting for the inevitable morning hours when she would start throwing up.

She was a wreck until Saturday arrived. Shawn had called her the night before, sounding so excited to see her again. Camila had tried not to cry until they hung up, but Shawn knew her well, could sense something in her voice.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She forced a smile. "I just miss you, is all."

"I'll see you tomorrow, though." He sounded happy. "I can't wait to kiss you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Camila barely slept that night, her hands over her stomach, her mind racing and heart pounding. Again, she dreamed of Shawn, but this time, he wasn't laughing.