You Are My Protagonist

Chapter 15

As I head home from the hospital I pass by a Walgreens and impulsively pull in. I head inside, grab a pack of beer, pay, and return to my car. By the time I process my actions I'm back in the car and almost home with the pack sitting in shotgun. I arrive at my apartment, head inside, then immediately make for the couch in front of the TV, beers in one hand. I turn it on, numbly. I switch channels until I come across a some random sports channel showing a tennis match. I open a can of beer and take a swig. 

After some time, maybe 20 minutes or even an hour later, I hear the door swing open. I numbly take another swig of my third, fourth, or maybe fifth bottle. For a second my eyes cross and the world spins, I try to count the number of bottles but they seem to meld and multiply in my fuzzy vision.

"Oh, Ram!" I hear Chen's voice. "Guess what, I-" He stops short behind me.

"...How much did you drink?" His voice is tentative and...worried maybe? Without turning to look at him I clumsily pat the open spot on the couch next to me. 

"Join me for a little bit." I pause. My voice is creaky and throaty, to the paint that even I have trouble recognizing it. 

"Um, okay." He lightly steps towards me and sits in the open spot. I take another swig and there's silence as I slowly swallow it. 

"Um...are you okay?" I blink as my vision spazes out again. 

Hearing my lack of response, he tries again. "Um I mean are you-"

"My mother is a pediatrician and my father is a engineer. So as I was growing up, they were always really busy and my care was left to my grandmother. I told you about her when you first started living here right? My childhood is filled with her, the taste of her homemade laddus and chocolates, the scent of her sandalwood incense, the sound of her praying, chiding asking me to eat more, and the sight of her in her vibrant sari, always vigorous and colorfully alive. She'd always have some plot or other to tell me about from her Indian soap operas, to the point where I can recite who cheated on whom with precise detail whether I wanted to or not. But now...she's dying." My voice catches on the last word and I feel the heat in my eye. I clutch my head, breathing sharply, as I feel something wet drip down my face. 

"Ram oh, Ram, I'm so sorry." I vaguely feel Chen's arms surround me. They're thin and soft, as if they can hardly break a twig. However, I feel a curious sense of security and hidden strength from them as they surround me. Furthermore, the heat emanating from his warm embrace removes the last barrier guarding my emotions and they explode in a flood of tears. My body shakes as I sob. After some time, my sobs slowly die down and with it I feel my consciousness drifting away. The last thing I see is Chen's large soulful eyes full of anxiety.